Storytime: Karkharos.

January 21st, 2015

And as she moved, without the need for something as unsophisticated as a thought, she let the world trickle through her nerves and into her brain. Scent motion sound taste sight snatched out of the water live and wriggling and helpful.
She heard a splash.
She felt the thrash of flailing limbs.
She smelt blood.

Just a little baby oh what a nice baby.
Go on hold her! Well I think I will why hello there look at you look at the world isn’t that nice!
Oh she’s lovely such a nice quiet baby-
-doesn’t cry at all won’t keep you up at night eh haha
-already learning to walk bless her. Teething yet?
No but soon enough-

Carcharodon carcharias, an unprompted stranger’s wish
a fin in the water, grows to strong from weak
the smile so nice they named it twice
(it means ‘sharpen,’ from the greek)

It’s not proper for a young girl to spend so much time with fishermen-
-well her father’s a fisherman it’s near enough-
-yes she’s much too interested. Prudence! You’ve got to teach her to be-
-can’t fault the dear for trying not like she hasn’t made her mark on the girl. Thrift is a virtue and you see her practice it she’s up all evening cutting up-
-yes the coupons from the day’s papers they’ll wrap fish in it but it’s a wife’s job to save the important bits.
And she’ll be a lovely wife I’m sure. Just so long as she keeps in mind her future and-

Carcharodon carcharias, shaded and anonymous
grey body in a bright blue world
dark from beneath given form with teeth
white against the belly, tightly furled

-Out for blood she was! My Jenny never so much as-
-No words for it! She won’t set foot back in that school until we hear-
-not so much her fault if she’d cried what with what the others said about her but to go and-
No excuse for it! None at all! A lady would have turned up her nose a pig would’ve stooped to words but only a-
-let her stay down by the docks if she’s not fit for humans rot with the salt and brine and keep company with-

Carhcarodon carcharias, cool-headed deadliness
warm heart cold to the seal-pup’s bleat
mouth meant for killing, with flesh ever-filling
but there’s more to life than meat

Well it’s a shock and a shame what she’s done and been a wonder she’s still in town. Knew she was that way since birth well that family who can blame her but-
-It’s no wonder he left. Oh she flaunted it were any of them really his? Or his! Or his! Mark my words she brought it upon-
-And she wouldn’t hear a word of it! As if I were talking to a stone when all I said was common decency and she just gave me that look that horrible awful look-
-like her eyes are baring teeth I swear-
-not so much as a speck of remorse! Doesn’t shrink to meet your eye and in the street she holds her head straight as if she weren’t-

Carcharodon carcharias, honest or over-brisk?
don’t ask the old and infirm!
either way, well who’s to say?
too busy swimming to confirm

Who’s that-
-don’t point don’t ask-
-does she have a family I haven’t seen her in-
-lives on that boat don’t ask again let her cut her coupons in peace there’s no-
-ought to be a law against it homeless kinless vagrants make this town-
-she’s got kids-
-oh and where are they eh where are they all over town in whose houses huh?
-can’t believe any of them found matrimony can’t believe anyone was willing to wed a-a pup of that creature.
-bet she couldn’t name a dad for all the wine in-
-shhh shut up she’ll hear-
-she hears she doesn’t care shut your mouths anyways-
-yeah but what happened to that one girl eh? And Harry last week he said she didn’t care and where’s he gone?
-You’re crazy she’s crazy she’s-

Carcharodon carcharias, older than blood and piss
scarred as a cobblestone wall
takes a nipping and keeps on clipping
they’re only love bites, after all

Don’t throw that! She’s got eyes in the back of her-
-heard the last boy to foul her lines was never seen again you say that now and I swear my friend’s brother’s friend said-
-she’s got special scissors y’know and she never stops sharpening them and she’ll snip off your-
-not natural. Spends more time on salt than shore she’ll end up-
-never talks never shows an interest no friends no business beyond a dock and a catch to sell what kind of person is-

Carcharodon carcharias, mistress of true bliss
same prey, same tricks, same hunt
can sense the world just fine running up your spine
it’s omniscience for the things that count

The boat’s empty.

It’s what?
It’s empty.
I heard it floated back in, what happened?
I don’t know. No body. Fell over, maybe? Too old to get back in.
She never wore a jacket. Maybe that’s it.
Well, good riddance. We won’t see her again.
No. We won’t.
Feels strange, been around since my granny was a little thing.
Now she’s in the locker, and your kids won’t have a devil to scare them anymore.
Neither will the catch. You’re just jealous. Never did like that she could triple your haul on a sick day.
Shut up!
Well, either way she’s fish food and now there’s nothing for them to be scared of but-

Carcharodon carcharias, gentle as a mother’s kiss
can’t even feel the touch
watch the land as it burns while the wide sea turns
they love little, but fear so much
Carcharodon carcharias, Carcharodon carcharias
sharp and quiet and clean
there is no spite when you take your bite
black eyes on a calm shagreen


Storytime: Cold Forged.

January 14th, 2015

“I’m hungry.”
The taiga stretched front and behind, back and forth. A great grey ghostly sea of trees and snow and whatever animal life was too stubborn, slow, or tough to leave. It sneered at rainforests; it could swallow deserts whole. To find a larger landscape you had to travel to a shoreline.
There hasn’t been any rain here in six months and twelve days, and it isn’t coming anytime soon.
“I’m hungry.”
The sky was a calm, cool grey that didn’t quite feel ready to be blue. The colour of freshly cooled corpseskin, of a kitten’s eyes, of-
“I’m hungry.”
Couldn’t keep too much of an eye above, though. Not with the snow underfoot taking al-
“I’m hungry.”
Crunch like bones under every st-
“I’m hungry I’m hungryI’mh-”
Lun removed the spoon from the cook-pot and inserted it into Naddabas’s face, and silence returned to the larch and spruce for some six appreciative seconds.

“Was that done cooking? It didn’t taste like it was done cooking…”
Lun returned the spoon to the cook-pot. Once upon a time, it had been a helmet. Once upon a slightly earlier time, it had been a cook-pot. It had not taken the return to its roots gracefully.
“It wasn’t done cooking.”
“You were hungry.”
Naddabas sighed, wriggling in her own guilt, in her little body-sack against Lun’s broad back. It would’ve tickled if Lun had any nerves back there. “True. True. And true a third time. Damn and noise, it almost didn’t hurt the taste. What’s in there again?”
Lun swirled the spoon, half-glancing at the effect produced. “Pine nuts. A bit of bark. Some sort of songbird.”
“Was it the one with the red throat that goes chee-chee?”
“No.”
“Was it the one with the blue throat that goes he-saw-me?”
“No.”
“Was it the one with the yellow back and grey wings and black tummy and bright red eyes that won’t stop following us and never makes a sound?”
“No.”
“Rackets. I was hoping you’d finally got it.”
“It’s smart; hides whenever I pull the sling out. I don’t know where it is.”
“Hope it gets lost. Hope it gets lost into a bear’s belly. That’d serve it right.”
“Mmm. It’s done cooking.”
“You eat first. I can see you’re burning low there. How much did you use to light that fire?”
“Not so much.”
Naddabas’s smile settled into place on her face like a cat in a well-worn cushion. “Liar, liar, liar,” she sang. “I can see your eyes guttering. Go on. Take your meal. And do it fast, before you become even worse company. I can’t chat with a friend who’s gone cold and stiff as a board, can I?”
Lun got to her feet with an annoyed grunt, and she knew that Naddabas knew that meant ‘oh fine.’ Only one in ten things her talky little friend said might be worth the air they used, but that was still a lot of truths at the end of the day.
She reached into the fire with her big rough hands wrapped in their charred leathers, yanked out the two least-crumbled logs, and carefully slid them under her coat. It accepted them with the smooth ease warranted by something that could’ve passed as a large tent, and she leaned back with a sigh. Then she coughed.
“Too far gone?” frowned Naddabas.
Lun’s shut her eyes. One. Two. Three big slow breaths. Then she opened them again and the campsite was just a little bit brighter than before. “No. Just got sapstuck. Trees are gummier than a glue factory.”
“Too hollering right. We should head south.”
Lun sat down again, but smoother. She spat out a little cloud of smoke and watched it wander away. “No.”
“Come on, come on, don’t be stubborn. He was probably lying anyways. We don’t need to come all the way out here, we can go back home! I’m sure they’ve forgotten about me anyways, and I can show you all the best places to eat, maybe introduce you to a boy or two I know with the most amaz-”
“Can’t go back ‘till we find it. You know that.”
“But-“
Lun returned the spoon to Naddabas’s face, removed it, and repeated the action at a practiced pace that just barely allotted time for breathing until it clanged against bare and empty metal.
“I’m sorry,” said Naddabas. “But you know this won’t work. We ran out of potatoes two days ago. We ran out of meat two weeks ago. A little bit farther north and we’ll run out of trees, and then what’ll you do?”
“Burn bracken and lichen,” said Lun.
“It’s not that I don’t want to help – I know all this is my fault – but we really have to think about fixing the problem in a way that doesn’t kill us. Understand? If you drop dead and fall over and squish me out here, we might as well have stayed home.”
“And I’m sure you’ll do us all a favour and explain why you haven’t done just that,” said a third voice.
It was a very polite voice, a very proper voice, a voice that would’ve fit right into the fifth quarter tidily – as a statesman, or perhaps a statesman’s uncle.
It was also altogether wrong. Some syllables seemed to have been produced by rubbing together bristles. Others had been replaced by near-identical copies that fit into place as well as a two-year-old’s jigsaw.
Lun’s eyes flickered. Naddabas tried to stand up, forgot she didn’t have limbs, and fell over.
“Rackets!”
“I’m sorry?”
“She’s ecclesial echoes,” said Lun.
“Lapsed!” hissed Naddabas. “Lapsed! I don’t believe a word of that nois-that NONSENSE anymore, but the language STICKS to you, it reall-”
“Names, please,” said the voice. “Names, homelands, business.”
“Lun. Tioloon, third quarter. Mining.”
“Naddabas, Tioloon, fifth quarter, and I suppose assisting a suicide. And yourself?”
The speaker stepped forward. All forty of him.
“Ujj six-through-forty-six,” he said. “Broodlands. Conquest.”

“Never seen one of you this far north,” said Lun.
“I could say the same,” said Ujj three. He was smiling, Lun thought. Naddabas would know for sure. Lun had never taken any of the social classes, and didn’t know how to read expressions through all those emptied eyes. She kept trying to meet his gaze and failing as the bright little orb switched from one eyesocket to the next. “Tioloon is nearly four thousand miles away. I’ve heard some of the first quarter don’t even believe in snow. How did you plan to survive up here?”
“Potatoes,” said Lun.
“And how well did that work?”
“Pretty good until we ran out of potatoes.”
The Ujj’s eyeball danced from socket to socket, and Lun guessed that meant laughter maybe. She glanced at Naddabas over her shoulder for support, but the serpent was already halfway through her second bowl of actual, honest-to-toneless potato soup without any bark at all, and didn’t seem to be in the mood to notice much of anything.
“As humorous as your optimism is, miner-to-be Lun, I suspect that you didn’t plan for that at all. You don’t eat, do you?”
Lun thought about that. “Sort of.”
“Sort of. You haven’t so much as glanced at the meal since you walked in, and you gave your companion the entire pot of your own…food… and then there’s that little bit of business I saw with the firewood. Miner Lun, would you kindly remove your coat?”
Naddabas looked up sharply and shook her head, but by then Lun was already working her way through the buttons and didn’t notice.
The room glowed red.
“Ah,” said Ujj-three. “That explains how you haven’t frozen to death yet, at any rate. May I touch it?”
Lun shrugged, and the Ujj leant forwards and carefully traced his long, barbed fingers over the seam between flesh and metal. He hissed as they approached the mouth of the furnace that sat where her belly should be, and withdrew them in a languid huff that made her think of a cat.
“Ah! Well now. That’s not a common sight. Tell me, is it fully-functional?”
Lun knew the entire rest of the conversation, but she decided she’d have it anyways. “Yes.”
“And do you have the tools to operate it at full capacity?”
“Most of them. The basics.”
“I can provide you with better. Tell me, miner Lun, are you by any chance smith-qualfied?”
“Can work all the way up to fifth quarter. Specialize in heavy machinery, have a bit of war-crafting training.”
The Ujj’s eye throbbed in its latest roost – a beetled, furrowing pit made for thinking and frowning by Lun’s guess. “Impressive. Why not sixth?”
“She’s hopeless with people,” chimed in Naddabas. “One minute she won’t talk to save your life from boredom, the next she says all sorts of nonsense that-”
“Interesting.” The Ujj wrapped his fingers around his fingers around his wrists. “Smith Lun, then. I have a proposal. You need food – and, I suspect, fuel. We are mere miles from the treeline, and once you pass it you will find nothing to sate the fire in your belly. I have food, and fuel, and an army that is in pressing need for a smith. Do you see my idea?”
Lun held her hand out.
The Ujj’s eye positively sparkled with glee. “Ah. I appreciate the gesture, smith, but you don’t want a handshake. It’s the barbs, you see – I’ve had them compared to fishhooks, but considerably sharper.”
“No shake, no deal. Mind the gloves.”
Ujj-three shook and the deal was set.
Set dead fast. Lun helped him disentangle.

“You idiot. You PHENOMENAL idiot. Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”
“Not really,” said Lun. She was watching the bobbing legs of Ujj-fourteen (thirteen?) in front of her, trying to place where he put his strange long feet in the wandering hollows of the knee-deep slush that infested the sprawling clearing the Ujj had claimed for his barracks. “Tell me.”
“Do you know anything about the Ujj?”
“Not really. Tell me.”
“Do you know what our chances are of getting out of here alive are now?”
“Not really. Tell me.”
“We’re both going to end up deader than daddy’s dear-”
Lun placed a finger to Naddabas’s lipless mouth. “No, really. Tell me.”
Naddabas bit her. Lun let her chew on her finger for a minute, then took it away.
“That tastes AWFUL.”
“You knew that. Still bit it.”
“Go shout yourself. Listen, you can trust an Ujj as far as you can throw them.”
“Pretty far? Can’t be more than a hundred and ten pounds wet.”
“I-you, not YOU-you. They’re – they’re sneaky. And they’re treacherous. You live your whole life as a little brood of a mere few thousand bodies surrounded – literally surrounded – by your elders and knowing that you’re only alive because they don’t feel like crushing you with a fifty-to-one numbers advantage, and you learn to be paranoid, trust me. Then they get kicked out into the world to make a name for themselves, and oh look, it’s full of people that don’t have thousands of bodies, and they do what bullied children do to people smaller than them. And they’ll always know more than you do because one of them knowing something means the whole brood does! We’re surrounded by more than two thousand soldiers all of which are the hands feets and EYES of a single evil little backstabbing barbpawed skinhunting bastard who’s likely out here on a crazy gloryhunt, and if any one of him thinks we’re up to something he’ll all come down on us at once!”
“Really.”
“Yes, yes, REALLY! And he WILL come down on us, because we’ll try to get away once we realize that he’s never letting us walk out of here because why would he let a perfectly good smith trek out into the snow to freeze to death when he could have her right there at home making mechanized death for him!?”
“Hmm.” Lun squinted into the gathering dark. There was a misshapen blob ahead that was supposedly a tent. “Well, we’ll think of something.”
Naddabas’s swearing was only interrupted by sleep some ten minutes later. A full belly always took her that way.
Lun carefully removed the bodysack from her back, stripped off her coat, and made a little nest for the serpent. Then she set about checking her tools. The Ujj had some real nice steel here – good stuff, maybe even blade-quality – but his forge was barely-there. Damaged supplies? Procurement mistake (no, not when the procurement officer was literally part of your own head). Who knew.
She reached down to her belly and unlatched the handle. Red light glowered.
Coal, too. Nice.
Lun fed a measured set of lumps through the hungry steel maw in her torso, felt the heat glaring inside her. It wanted out. It wanted to make things.
So she took it and pointed it and she made it so.

The sixth major battle (Naddabas called it a skirmish at best) of the Taiga War took place the next evening. Scores of Ujj on skis rushing down a sloped gully on one side, and some sort of strange, loping things that were mostly fur and teeth on the other, hurtling out of burrows in the snow. They screamed as they fought, and given the amount of punishment that they took before going down, there was an awful lot of screaming.
“If I wasn’t already damned to cacophony by doubt,” muttered Naddabas from Lun’s shoulder, “this would sure do it.”
Lun nodded, and watched as the battle began to work itself out under their eyes. The Ujj were swinging axes in two hands, great thin sweeping things halfwhere between scythe and timbersaw that moved like silk through air and limbs.
Well, in theory.
“I can’t believe you did that,” said Naddabas. “Giving them decimators – even if they’re knockoffs? Your masters would have your hide tanning in a tub.”
“They’re not.”
“Pardon?”
“Not fakes. Did the best job I could. Not shop-quality, but still.”
Naddabas’s voice dropped into the register she called ‘threatening’ and Lun called ‘funny.’ “You gave. These polite little. Psychopaths. TIOL DECIMATORS?!”
“Near enough as I could. I’d have tossed most of these out. But look – see down there?”
Naddabas craned her neck. “Where?”
Lun pointed. An Ujj (fifty?) had swung his blade, struck true, and was now being spread at increasing velocity over the nearby snow by his angry opponent.
“Ugh.”
“Should’ve cut it in half clean, or near enough. But it sticks in the bone – see the ribcage is still all in one piece? – and it doesn’t kill fast enough. They just get mad and maul you while the blade’s stuck. Close quarters, two hundred pounds of muscle and bone beats one hundred ten pounds of barbs no trouble.”
“Fascinating. If I could still throw up without putting my life at risk, I would.” She glared up at the calm gray sky. “I bet this is that stupid bird’s fault. Do you see it? I haven’t seen it since we got here. It’s never around when something like this happens. Probably hopes we’re dead.”
By now the fight was over. Most of it. Some of the wounded were still thrashing, and the Ujj put them down with long quarrels that seemed more needle than anything.
“Not bad,” said Ujj-three. He bore no decimator at his side, just the finely-serrated sword that composed the brood’s more standard armament. “Better than before at least. Not good, of course. Smith, I am somewhat disappointed.”
“Go and do better yourself then,” snapped Naddabas.
The Ujj spread his arms wide in what was probably meant to be a disarming gesture in a species less pointy. “I am interchangeable, of course, but I am well aware that outside the broodlands this is not a…commonly grasped fact. Protocol dictates a specific body should be kept as liaison for dealing with specific outlanders. It puts them more at ease.”
Naddabas stared at him for an insultingly long time. The Ujj’s body language showed a cheerfully insolent lack of impact.
Lun nodded, and turned from the battlefield. “Right. I can see what the problem is. First things first, I’ll need more supplies. Do you have any better steel?”
“No.”
“Then we’ll make do with extra.”

Naddabas hung from Lun’s left arm as she worked, swinging the tip of her nose perilously close to her friend’s furnace and back again, in and out with the rhythms of her heart.
“Watch it.”
“I can’t help it. I like the warm.”
Lun carefully maneuvered a red-hot bar of metal around her snout. “Go and eat something.”
“No. If I do that I’ll fall asleep, and I need to talk to you. We need to think of a way to get out of here.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Naddabas’s tongue tickled against the seam between Lun’s flesh and metal. “I’m entirely serious. If you win this fight for him, he’ll never let us go. If you lose it, he’ll kill us if the nasty little fuzzies don’t. And if it turns into a stalemate he might try to get persuasive. I know Ujj persuasive. They can do amazing things with those fingers.” She peered into Lun’s stomach, leaning her farthest yet. “What’re you making, anyways?”
“A way out of here.”
“Oh,” sighed Naddabas. “That’s nice.”
Six minutes later her head was limp, and Lun set up the coat-nest again before Naddabas could slide loose and fall into her furnace.

The seventh battle of the Taiga War took place three days later and twenty miles north, on the very cusp of the greenline, where the tundra began to plant its feet – the only grayer land. Tiny, withered trees strained grumpily under the weight of flying bodies living and dead, and the wind set in halfway through the day, whipping snow into even the most deeply-set eyesockets of the Ujj and clearing the way for the eighth battle of the Taiga War, which arrived quite suddenly.
“Shh,” said Naddabas, her mouth barely moving. “Shh.”
“I am shh,” said Lun quietly. She was sprawled flat on her stomach, and already the snow had half covered her. A few more minutes and they’d be invisible.
“No you aren’t. You’re breathing too much. You’re noisy.”
Lun grunted noncommittally and tried to keep her airways clear; her face had already tried to ice to the snow.
“See, there you go again. So noisy. It’s those big lungs. There’s one of them four paces away – yours, not mine – and he’s almost found you. Two more steps and you’re done.”
Lun breathed out and spoke, got ready to hold the inhalation. “Where.”
“Right. As in, not-left. He’s there in one, two ohracketshe’sfasterthanhe-”
A blurred mass of angry darkness hurtled at them through the snow, then reversed itself in midair with a meaty thud. Lun stood up and brushed herself off, then began patting down her coat.
“What are you DOING?”
“Looking for my hammer,” said Lun.
“Right pocket second from the top – honestly, I can’t be your memory all day and all night. And why should I? You’ve practically turned that thing into its own filing system!”
“I’ve been busy. I forget things.” Lun pulled out the hammer, made her way towards the sound of snarling, and found the thing pulling itself out of a snowdrift with its one working arm. It really was as much teeth as fur – they erupted from its chest, its…face. Even its knuckles were grimed with molars, and the claws that were sliding loose from their sheaths were more canine than talon.
It swung at Lun one-armed. She leaned back, then swung forwards. It went down again.
One more swing.
“I hate it when you do that,” muttered Naddabas.
“Wasn’t going to stop until we did,” said Lun.
“I still hate it.”
“True.” She reached down and disentangled the snapper from the thing’s limp arm, checked the grip on the thing for wear and tear.
“I hate those too.”
“Not nice,” Lun agreed. “Blunted, though. The teeth are hard.”
“What sick bastard thought a noose and a steel-toothed trap needed to be crossbred, then jammed on a heavy-pull quarrel?”
“Ti the mastersmith. A noble wanted a safe bear-hunting tool.”
“Did it work?”
Lun pocketed the snapper and leaned in closer, ruffled through the fur and fangs. “Until he got careless, yes.”
“Should’ve carried a hammer.”
“Most people should.”
Naddabas retreated farther into her bodysack. “Are we escaping now?”
“Shh,” said Lun, straightening up quickly. She felt her friend’s body swell to protest, then immediately deflate as Ujj-three emerged from the swirling whiteness.
“On the run,” he said. “I’ll sit tight and wait for this little piece of vexation to pass us by, then push forwards.” He patted the haft of his crossbow, adding to the maternal air he already cradled it with. “Fine work on the ammunition. I lost several hundred, of course, but that was during the counterattack. I trust you’ll have a better plan for next time?”
Lun tapped at her side, finger tickling at the base of Naddabas’s bodysack. “We will.”
“Good,” said Ujj-three. “Excellent. And as a little extra motivation to add a little extra swing to your hammer, smith…”
Lun waited politely, allowing the sentence’s tail to collapse without grace.
“… I believe that we will find ourselves at the object of your quest within the week.”
Lun stopped tapping.
Ujj-three’s attempt at a smile was earnest. The eye twinkled, it really did. Naddabas could barely look. “Oh yes. How many things are there of value out here after all, at the end of the greenery? We seek the same substance, smith Lun. Why, you are far from the first lone prospector we have found on our little expedition!”
“Lone,” said Naddabas irritably. To Lun, the single other person in the midst of the Ujj.
Lun thought for a minute. Then she thought for four more seconds than that. “Stardrops,” she said at last.
“Precisely,” said Ujj-three. “Precisely! And what good luck that we found each other!”
And he clapped her on the back hard enough to bruise and walked away.
Lun stood very still and tried not to panic. “Naddabas?” she asked.
“Here,” said a very small voice. “Just missed me. Not quite barbed enough, it seems.” A long, slow hiss slid out. “I swear, that bird’s bound to show up again any minute. It might run from trouble, but it’ll want to watch us go down squirming, mark my words. It wants to eat me.”
Lun began to breathe again. “I could kill him.”
“No no no bad idea do whatever your other idea was. They’ll know what happened.”
Lun’s hand was at her pockets again. “Not if I’m fast enough.”
“No! No. You had a plan, and we’ll do that. You DID have a plan, right?”
The smith stared into the white. “I did. Maybe.”
“Then go to it. And that’s not the right pocket.”

One week later, they reached the stardrop crater.
It wasn’t an easy fight, when you saw the terrain. Uphill to the rim, then downhill to the burrows. They had to seal those with rocks in the end just to slow them down, furry limbs heaving and shoving and gouging clawmarks through the stone.
It wouldn’t have happened without the smith, the Ujj assured them. A good job, that. They would’ve had to clamber uphill to the crater’s lip through a hail of splintered sling-stones without the smith. A massacre.
But as the smith was there, they had their armour filled with padded bark where it squeaked, and they had a thick, dark tarry oil spread over their blades where they shone, and they each held a strange shield of beaten metal which shone back everything around it – and here that was snow, whiter than a worm’s heart.
And behind those mirror-polished shields they simply walked uphill. By the time the fight started, half of it was over, without so much as a scuffle.
After that, out came the spades – once decimators, now forged into a less formal, noble shape. Half-shovel, half-rake, half-crowbar, half-halberd. They kept what you fought at arm-and-a-half’s-length while they just tried to figure out what all the bits were supposed to be, and by then they were usually dead. And once there was nothing near you, why, there was nothing for it but to shovel scree, scree, scree. The edge that bit into bone and failed to pierce it still carved through permafrost like an avalanche through furry bodies, which was precisely what it caused.
Lun and Naddabas walked well at the rear this time. They couldn’t help but notice that Ujj-three never left their side.
“Down there,” he said. “Down there is a treasure fit to raise a brood from numeral to alphabetical in a single year. To ransom a king. Oh, smith, you have delivered it to me as surely as if you’d done so on bended knee!”
“You’re welcome,” Lun said. And Naddabas didn’t say anything.
“Let’s take a look, shall we?” And the walk became a jog, then nearly a sprint. There might not have been much to the Ujj, but most of that was limbs. By the time Lun had caught up with her steady pumps, Ujj-three had stopped running.
The stardrop was smaller than she’d expected. A little over half again her height, and twice as long as that. But she knew just looking at it that there was weight there. Something so heavy it fell out of the sky and left a mark this size in fragments was a mass you used mathematics to measure, not scales.
“Beautiful,” murmured Ujj-three. He scraped at its surface with a barbed finger, watched in happy awe as it snapped in half and fell away like a pine needle. “Beautiful. That would have left a mark in granite. Beautiful.” He turned back to Lun. “Have any of Tioloon been privileged to work with stardrop before?”
“Ti the mastersmith,” said lun. “Made a decimator with it.”
“Of course, of course, of course,” the Ujj whispered. “Tell me, how did it play?”
“It took three men to lift for six seconds. They never found it again. The cleft’s still visible in the sixth quarter.”
Ujj-three laughed at that, long and loud and altogether not right. There were pitches, sounds, entire cadences in there that were not proper to hear, however personable the intent behind them. “Oh, ah me,” he said. “Ah! What fools we all become, when such wealth is at our fingertips!” Then he shook his head. “Which is why precaution is necessary. Thank you, smith.”
Lun’s hand was in motion before the last word was finished, but the Ujj was faster. However, Lun’s hand contained Naddabas.
Naddabas was considerably faster.
The noise that came out of the Ujj was the first genuinely real thing she’d ever heard from him, as it vibrated up through her fangs and out her spine. But it had one thing in common with all he’d said: it just wouldn’t stop.
“FUT UP!” she yelled past the mouthful of – flesh, possibly? – she’d embedded her teeth into. “FUT UP!”
Needle-fingers came up to tear her away, but Lun was still moving, with her other hand now, and there was the hammer after all.
One moment the eye shone with fear, the next it was gone, and Lun picked up Naddabas from the ground.
“Urgh.”
“I missed you. Don’t fuss.”
“You almost shook my teeth out.” She peered blearily up the slope, which was beginning to run downhill towards them with certain angry goals in mind. The Ujj brood had spent almost a thousand of himself to reach the skydrop, but the loss of a single one at such a juncture seemed to have made him particularly sore. “Please tell me this was part of your plan.”
Lun shrugged. “Sure.” She’d replaced her hammer and was absently rummaging through her pockets again. “You remember which pocket I kept my polish, oils, and tars in?”
“Fifth from the bottom left side,” said Naddabas. “I don’t think fluids will help.”
“No,” said Lun. “So I used them all up this morning. Had to make room.” She extracted her prize with a grunt. “Found it.”
The big sack was worn, grimy, and seemed to have been made from an unpleasant sort of leather. But Naddabas, after having spent seven years as Lun’s friend and the last two snugged into the small of her back, recognized the stains on it as familiar and comforting.
Coal.
“You’ve been burning hot all this time, haven’t you?” she said.
“Been ramping up,” the smith admitted. “Just needed the kicker.” She began to open the sack, then shook her head and began to yank at her buttons instead. “No time. Get behind the skydrop. Hurry up.”
Naddabas was already on the move, world-still-spinning though it was. The big boulder whirled in and out of either side of her vision, then upside down, and then she was corkscrewing her way underneath it. From the corner of one eye she saw Lun stuffing the sack into her gut with both hands as the frontrunner Ujj began to close with her, then her vision was filled with nothing but dirt and stone.
Then it went white and black and she woke up again, slightly singed. Lun was calling her name.
She worked her way out. It felt like someone had pan-seared her spine.
“There you are,” said Lun. “Why weren’t you behind it?”
“No legs,” said Naddabas. “Can’t move that fast. You almost got me. You almost got me! You almost SHRIEKING GOT M-”
Lun picked her up and hugged her.
“Fine,” said Naddabas. “Fine. Why didn’t you explain this part to me?”
“You hate metalworking minutia.”
Naddabas looked around the crater.
Six hundred Ujj lay flattened, crumpled to the ground by the blastwave.
“Minutia. Right. Tell me what happened.”
“Skydrops heat up fast and harden up when they heat. They get hot when they fall, it’s what makes them so heavy. Ti the mastersmith performed tests in-”
“Tell me what happened in a brief, useful, and exciting way.”
Lun shrugged as she began to walk upslope, jiggling Naddabas’s crisped tailtip in a painful way. “The fuzzies were metal caps on their teeth. Skydrop caps. Kept them sharp. The Ujj saw it and wanted to take their source. I saw it and knew the source was going to be well-used. Look at the slopes. Most of that scree is full of skydrop flakes.”
“So when you popped your doors-“
“Don’t call it that,” said Lun. She was
“Sorry, sorry, sorry… so when you popped your doors-”
“PLEASE don’t-”
“-you spontaneously superheated the entire surface of the slope they were running down.”
“Forged,” said Lun. Naddabas heard very little satisfaction in it. They were walking through the Ujj corpses now; each body reddened on the surface, seared to white and yellow fat on the underside. Wisps of steam were gently billowing from wounds surrounded by quietly re-cooled stone and cooling flesh.
“That was human skin you put in your furnace, you know,” said Naddabas.
“I know,” said Lun.
“They would’ve used you to hold coal and me for a swordhilt if you hadn’t-“
“I know.”
Naddabas sighed, a very little sound in a very large space. “Thank you again. And don’t feel so badly. Remember, this whole trip is my fault.”
“No,” said Lun. “And it was necessary. No avoiding it.”
“Well, I think that all could’ve been easier if we’d just gone home still. But at least we’ve gotten one good oh NO!” groaned Naddabas.
Lun turned around.
There, an all-too-visible blot in the distance now, perched on the heaviest of Ujj-three’s brows, crouched a large bird with a yellow back and grey wings and black tummy and bright red eyes that seemed to glare right through you. Dangling in its beak was the tiny shape of Ujj’s eye. The fires seemed to have spared its twinkle.
“Too good to be true,” muttered Naddabas. “Rackets. Let’s go home.”


Storytime: Snowfort.

January 7th, 2015

It’s a white day for Peter, his favourite kind. The only thing that comes close are the grey days, the days when the sun and the sky and the world all fade into one long wheeze of a smudge that smears away all difference between noon and night. They don’t come outside on days like that; they stay indoors and complain to themselves in strange deep voices, muttering words he doesn’t know, snarling insults at who knows who. They leave the outdoors to him.
White days are like that, but there’s more snow falling down from up high. More to work with, to build with. White days are even better.
On white days, Peter starts shoveling early, and stops late. Real late.

Peter’s shovel is a composite, another word he didn’t use to know. A wooden handle, a plastic scoop, and a metal blade at the tip. It’s angled just so, and it will scoop the snow just like that – there, close to the cold hard ice that’s hiding the dirt away ‘till spring – and that’s just fine. It doesn’t bend, not even when he lifts up a real heavy shovelful that makes his knees wobble and his eyes pucker in their sockets. It stays straight and true and it does what it has to do, and Peter does what he has to do. And that’s why they stay safe.

The ramparts are a real walk now. He’s made a ramp – he tried stairs once and they just turned into a ramp anyways – and it’s a nice shallow one but even so, even so. He stops and takes a breath too often, too much, and it costs valuable time. These days are short right now, and they won’t let him keep going after dark. They’re afraid of what might happen, and they’ll stop him cold.
Peter finishes his last breath (for this trip, anyways), and he takes himself and his shovel up to the top battlement. It’s as high as the world can get out here, and he looks down, down, down the hill over the dead quiet and muffled air. He’s wearing a thick hat and it’s sort of like earmuffs, but he knows even without them he’d be hard pressed to hear a shout two feet away, or dynamite at twenty. An atom bomb at fifty paces would be a whisper. Snowfall has a voice all its own. Subtle. Soft. And completely enveloping.
He dumps the shoveful, and barely hears the soft whud as it lumps itself. Skilful shaping takes over – mittenwork. He’s had practice.
There. A battlement. His thirty-fifth.

Peter’s mittens are modern mittens. They are somewhere between plastic and cloth, filled with strange white fluff that looks like teddy-bear guts. They insulate and protect and wear really thin at one side where they start to leak and make it look like you’ve got a little polar bear shedding in there. Peter knows that polar bears don’t shed, but it looks like it all the same. The snow creeps in through that crack as the fluff leaks out and it gets his leftmost littlemost finger cold, but he’s used to it. If it gets real bad he’ll just curl his hands into fists. He knows how to stay warm. You need to know that.

The trip down’s easier for Peter. He half-scrambles, half-slides down the ramp. A little red clot slipping through a blue-white body, fleshless and nerveless and bloodless, but nearly alive. It keeps growing, building, and dividing. Walls go up, barricades slip in, divisions are made.
Here is a smooth round bowl of a chamber. It is filled with iceballs, diamond-hard and deadly; every fifth has a specially pointy stone at its core, for insurance. The armoury. For weapons, not armour. His snowsuit is all the armour he needs and he’d need to take it off to store it. That would be a terrible idea.
Here is a little cave, dug into the base of the thick rear wall. The bedroom. He can curl himself up in here, under snow with snow at his back, and turn himself into a little ball of warm. That’ll keep him okay. He’s never slept through the night yet, but if he has to, it’ll happen here.
Here is a bulge in the thick rear wall; from the other side, it’s a recess. The emergency exit. This snowball is held in place with only the barest touch of surface packing, and he hasn’t trickled any water on it. It’s a weak link in his defence, but whatever’s breaking in will be bigger than him. It won’t be able to push through easily or quickly, and by the time it’s inside the walls he’ll be outside them and heading for the hills. That hill – there, that one – it’s going to be his emergency hideout. There’s a big pine tree with low-hanging branches, and he can dive through the drifts and hide in a space as warm and dry as any tent. He just has to figure out how to hide his footprints…
Here is the pantry. It’s got icicles. You learn to eat icicles out here. It’s not food but it fills you up and you can’t go wandering. They’ll find you fast. Better to stay hungry out here than to go in there.
And THERE is the wall, as he passes through the front gate,
(it’s too low for them to come through quickly, and a stomp up above in the right spot will crumble it on their heads)
thick and iced. He made it by packing an empty garbage can with snow and upending it more than sixty times. It was a struggle, but it was worth it. Nothing can get through here. Nothing will get through here.
The front of the fortress is barren. The ground here has been trampled and scraped and shovelled until the dirt is visible here and there, and it’s all as slippery as only almost-ice can be. A clump of bushy grass is exposed, startlingly naked and probably unhappy about it. Peter walked past it, bent his knees, straightened his back, and added another square foot to the barren stretch.
He wonders if he should spread a little snow on the bare grass but by the time it occurs to him he’s halfway back and too tired to change course.
Besides, he has to watch his footing on this ground. He made it that way on purpose; it’ll slow them down. They’ll slip and fall and that’s when the iceballs come into play.

Peter hasn’t had to throw an iceball yet. He doesn’t think it’ll stop them. Not if they’re determined. That’s what the walls are for. The iceballs (and maybe the stoneballs, if things come down to it) are for discouragement. Go away. Go away and leave me alone. I’m too much trouble. I won’t come out and you can’t make me. Go away and fight with each other. I’m too much trouble.

Peter raises his head above the walls, holds his shovel to the fresh battlement, and freezes like a stone caught glacier-riding without a permit.
Light. Light in the darkness, guttering from the black hulk of a house down the hill.
Oh, this is bad. How had the long night snuck in so close so quick? And here he is, head above the ramparts, still holding his shovel like an idiot, exposed and highlighted with his stupid red snowcoat and his stupid black snowpants and his stupid red hat sticking out against the white-blue snow
(turned purple with evening – really, how HAD he missed that? Not the same colour at all)
like a bullseye.
Slowly, carefully, he moves by trembles and starts sliding downward. Out of sight. Down low. Maybe it’s just chance. Maybe they’ve mistaken him for a coyote or a deer or something else lost that shouldn’t be here. Maybe they
Something moves, shoulders past strained springs and through a door made out of creaks and groans.
And then it calls.
Peter feels the hair on the back of his neck rise up. Now, that didn’t mean anything. It’s a full moon, but their eyes are bad. Maybe they can’t see him up here. Maybe they were just trying to spook him. Maybe maybe maybe can’t build a fortress with maybes you build it with snow and you stay safe and
The voice calls again.
Twice. That’s worse. And they haven’t moved. They’re sure he’s here. He can play mum, he knows they hated the cold. Just a few more minutes.
“PETER.”
Oh damnit. It’s got the edge in its voice. Must have been a bad day.
“NOW.”
Three times. He’ll have a worse one if it has to say it a fourth.
He holds his shovel, looks at the ramparts. Half-finished at best. Days of work to get them done yet. Hours and hours. He has three seconds.
So again, as it every evening, the fortress falls without so much as a shot fired.

Peter looks back as he approaches the light on the porch. The long night’s flowing in, giving the snow hello and how-do-you-dos. The world’s wrapping itself up to be fresh for tomorrow, white and black planning the morning grey. If he squints his eyes to snow-slits, there’s a rim. Is that his battlements? Unless it’s his flag tower. Maybe it’s his walls. His walls are big now. He spent all day on them, all last day, all the day before that.
From here it’s like they’re not even there at all.


Storytime: Cragg and Clodd.

December 31st, 2014

A nice valley, a good valley, a valley halfway between rough and smooth on the world. But a noisy one right now. Lots of dispute. Lots of debate.
Cragg and Clodd, sister and brother, at it again with words and fists.
“My plains are broader than your hills.”
“My hills are taller than your plains.”
“Nrrmf.”
“Hrrmm.”
Cragg and Clodd, siblings together, on and off and on again.
“My hills have fine tall trees and are pocked by snowy white peaks. Your plains do not.”
“My plains have long waving grass and are shot through with gentle dells. Your hills do not.”
“Ugh!”
“Pffa!”
Cragg and Clodd, twins like mirrors, hot and cold.
“My hills have the hardiest beasts. They can walk through six blizzards and through four avalanches, stones AND snow, and still come back hungry. They are the best.”
“My plains have the vastest herds of beasts. They can walk by for four months and run into their friends coming back the other way, like a snake eating its own tail, and they make the ground rumble with their feet. They are the best and also yours are the worst and they are stupid.”
Cragg furrowed her brow. “No,” she said deliberately. “YOURS are stupid.”
Clodd put his fist in her face and that was that for another five minutes while they discussed things.
“Maybe,” said Clodd, through the iron hinges of Cragg’s knuckles, “we should prove it.” And besides, his teeth hurt. The ones that were left.
“Maybe,” said Cragg, past a nose that was twice the size it had been five minutes and four seconds ago, “we should do that.” And besides, she was seeing spots.
“I will fetch my smartest and bring them here in a few short decades,” said Clodd. “Then you will see.”
“I will do the same,” said Cragg. “And then you will see.”
They turned away and walked six paces each, then silently turned around and made secret obscene gestures whose meanings were unknown to all save themselves. Each pretended not to have seen that.

So Clodd walked down to his plains and his dells and he picked through the gazelles and the bison and the buffalo and the wildebeest and the horses and he started to get a little desperate.
“They are the best,” he told himself, “and that’s no lie. But they’re a little….dim.”
And Cragg walked up to her hills and her mountains and she picked through her bears and her deer and her goats and her sheep, and she was biting her lip again, split though it was.
“They’re the best,” she told herself, ignoring the red-hot blood that seeped down her chin. “But. Well. They’re nice, after all. Just. Maybe not them?”
And they both sat back, back-to-back, miles apart, and they pondered the question for about a year. And then they both sat up, clapped their hands together, and hooted loud: “I’VE GOT IT.”
First things first. Clodd took up a clod. Cragg plucked free a crag.
Second things second. Clodd moulded that clod in his hands. Cragg smacked that crag until it crumbled just so.
Third things third. They each breathed out, then breathed in, and they tried a little.
“Wham,” said Cragg.
“Bam,” said Clodd.
The things they had made just blinked at them. “This one’s going to know everything worth knowing,” said the siblings.
Then the things started to cry.
“We’ll have to work on that.”

So they did. They taught them to stand up straight and stop crawling around, to use words, to be careful about what went in your mouth and what didn’t.
This last bit was important, because Cragg and Clodd found out pretty quick that their new beasts were pretty fragile. They were bald, why were they bald? Everything had to have some sort of skin on their skin – feathers, fur, hair, rock, sod, SOMETHING – but not them. They were like big babies, right down to the big eyes and heads. And so needy all the time, all the time.
“I’m cold,” said Cragg’s beast to her. “So cold.”
“Here,” said Cragg. And she shaved the fur off a sheep with three whisks of her claw and showed the beast how to clot it together into a warm mat. “Wear that.”
“I’m cold,” said Clodd’s beast to him. “So cold.”
“Here,” said Clodd. And he struck a bison dead with his loamy fist and showed the beast how to strip the hide off and make it into a warm blanket. “Cuddle under that.”
“I’m hungry,” said Cragg’s beast. “So hungry.”
“Here,” said Cragg, getting more annoyed now. And so she showed the beast how to make a little bowl from clay, cool and round, and how to squirt milk from a goat’s udder into it. “Eat that.”
“I’m hungry,” said Clodd’s beast. “So hungry.”
“Here,” said Clodd. “I am tired of your complaints.” And he showed the beast how to put a sharp rock on a strong stick, firm and thick, and how to shove it into another beast until it stopped moving and became delicious. “Eat that.”
And so it went.
“These berries are bad,” said Clodd. “Don’t eat them.”
“These grains are good,” said Cragg. “Eat them.”
“These furs will make a good tent,” said Clodd. “Sleep in that.”
“This mud-and-stone will make a fine house,” said Cragg. “Sleep in that.”
“Do this,” said Clodd.
“Do that,” said Cragg.
And they said that for nineteen long, long years.

So down from the hills came Cragg and up from the plains came Clodd, hand in hand with their beasts. And they felt mighty pleased with themselves as they stood there in that quiet little valley again. Mighty AND pleased, all at once.
“You are early,” said Clodd, smugly. “Nervous?”
“You are late,” said Cragg, grinning ear to ear to mouth again. “Regretful?”
“Hardly!”
“No!”
They threw their heads back and laughed, laughed, laughed.
Clodd’s beast waved at Cragg’s. Cragg’s beast waved back at Clodd’s.
“Right!” said Cragg. “Time to prove that the hills have made the smartest beasts.”
“The plains,” corrected Clodd.
“We will leave our beasts on my hills-” said Cragg.
“-in my plains, and whichever-“ interjected Clodd.
“-does the best will be the-” said Cragg.
“-winner.” Clodd finished.
They glared at each other.
“Mine first,” said Clodd.
“Fine,” said Cragg. “Last laughs loudest.”

So Clodd led his beast into his plains, and Cragg and her beast followed. Finally they reached the centre of the plains, where the prairie rose high and went on forever.
“Be smart!” they said.
And then they left them there, and they waited.
“Your beast will starve,” said Clodd. “Look, look – see how it fails, season after season! It is failing at this very moment to perform so simple a task as tying a sharp rock atop a strong stick! It is failing in its efforts to make a shelter! It is even eating the berries that are bad, which it should not eat! It is humorous in its stupidity!”
“You cheated,” said Cragg sullenly. “Your stupid plains have no proper stones to live in, and your stupid animals are all too fast and too wild. And besides, you taught your beast things. It cannot be so clever if it has to go about learning things.”
“I never,” said Clodd, and it was just as convincing a lie between siblings as could ever be.
“Hmm.” Cragg squinted and placed her hand to her brow. “What are they doing down there?”
Clodd looked. “What ARE they doing down there?” he said.

“What WERE you doing down there?” they asked, as they brought their beasts once more to the valley.
The beasts looked at each other. Then they looked at the plains. Then they looked at the sky. Then they looked at the ground.
“That is a strange thing to do,” said Cragg. “You should be looking at us.”
“I was tying a sharp rock atop a strong stick,” said Cragg’s beast. “I needed it to skin a-”
“Not that!” said Clodd. “That. Yes, that, but WHY that! You were talking. You were talking to my beast! Why were you talking to my beast? You have lost doubly here, Cragg. Your beast stole lessons from my beast! Truly my beast is the smartest.”
“We are halfway done,” said Cragg. “And your beast cannot be as intelligent as all that. It just did what you told it to. MY beast got on just fine in your plains. My beasts are smartest.”
“Prove it,” said Clodd. “My beast goes to your hills now. It will do just fine, see if it doesn’t. Watch as your beast stumbles around like a blind old snail. Watch it, and I will watch it, and we will both laugh.”

Cragg led, Clodd followed. This time their beasts walked behind them, a little reluctant maybe. They were chattering in their strange beastly way. Cragg and Clodd were busy ignoring each other, and did not participate.
Finally they reached the rocky, rolling heart of the hills, just beneath the mountains and where the gullies rumbled through pine forests, sputtering out rapids as they went.
“Be smart!” they said.
And then they left them there, and they waited. This time a bit more attentively.
“Hah,” said Clodd. “See? See the mind of my beast? Look! Look! See as it hunts your go-oh.”
“Look as it trips on its own feet,” said Cragg. “Look! Look! See as it shivers under thin hides. Look! Look! See as it – oh ho ho ho! – trips down cliffs and stubs its toes off. It is making a house from stones, and the stones land on its toes as it sleeps! Your beast is smart indeed – it can make me laugh like nothing else! Hah!”
“Your beast has cheated,” said Clodd. “Look! You have filled your ugly hills with nothing but gangly little meatless scrawners, and there is nowhere to live but holes in holes! Such nonsense! How could any beast live here, unless you had cheated and told them how?”
“Not me!” said Cragg in the firm convincing voice that no one could ever dispute.
Clodd’s eyes narrowed and he was going to dispute this when he saw moving things. “Look!”
“More laughs?” asked Cragg.
Then she looked.

“Why would you do this thing?” demanded Clodd.
“I was hungry and-“
“Why would you know to pull its teat and drink the milk that landed in an ugly clay saucer?”
“Well, I asked and-“
“Why would you ask the stupid beast of the hills for this advice?”
Cragg laughed, laughed, laughed. “Because he knows he is stupider! My beast is the smartest, and this is truth! Were it not for my beast your beast would be deader than your head!”
“My beast took all your beast’s secrets by means of its smartness,” said Clodd loftily. “Your beast has no claim on this. My beast is smartest and fastest and also strongest.”
“My beast is smartest and also strongest and also fastest and it could take your beast and throw it over the hills.”
“Mine could stomp yours into the grass.”
“I will find out.”
“I will also find out.”
“Right now.”
“Right. Now.”
They turned around and walked out of that quiet little valley, and they left their beasts there alone.
The beasts looked at each other.
Clodd’s beast waved at Cragg’s. Cragg’s beast waved back at Clodd’s.

“Your beast has no fight,” said Cragg smugly. “See how mine has chased it into the trees!”
“Not so,” said Clodd. “Look! It returns with great armfuls of wood! Look! It will smite it with them!”
“Ah, but my beast has stolen them and built a home! It is safe now, and your beast will perish!”
“My beast has claimed game, and returns to bury the antler-dagger in your beast! It has invaded.”
“Ahh, but my beast has emerged! It has triumphed! Look – look! It sits there, and it moulds the clay at the lake-side. It is assured of victory, and it sculpts vessels to hold the blood of the foe!”
“Mine lives yet! It has feigned death! See how it approaches it from behind at the lakeshore! Soon your beast will drown!”
“Your beast is merely fishing,” scoffed Cragg.
“And YOUR beast is just making mud-pots,” snorted Clodd.
They looked down at them more closely.
Clodd’s beast’s fishing spear missed, and it fell over.
“Your beast is a poor fisher,” said Cragg.
“Well, it’s not the plains,” said Clodd. “The fish are different here.”
“Mmm.”
Cragg’s beast carefully added sand to the clay, and the sides of the pot fell in.
“That is… not a very good mud-pot,” said Clodd.
“It’s not the hills,” said Cragg. “This clay isn’t as nice. It’s too dry.”
Nights came and went. They watched, they waited, but the house in the valley still stood, and no victor would appear.
“I’ve lost,” said Cragg. “My beast is a dullard. It can barely feed itself by itself, and that only if someone tells it what to do.”
Clodd shook his head. “I’ve lost too. My beast is just as bad. And it’s not even fighting properly. Look – they’re fighting again. And neither of them have won. Again.”
Cragg peered at them. “They do that a lot, that fighting. They must like it. But if they like it so much, one of them should have won. They are both truly stupid. How have we done this?”
Clodd shrugged.
She sighed. “Well, if they’re all so stupid, we ought to at least give them company.”
“Maybe they can keep an eye on each other like these two.”
They pulled up clay from the lakebed and a little breeze for the sky. Clodd held it, Cragg punched and kneaded it.
“Wham,” she grunted.
“Bam,” he agreed.
The things they had made looked up at them from the ground with big, alarmed eyes. They patted them on their heads. Their big, bobbly heads. And they sighed a little.
“Maybe they’ll learn to stop being so stupid someday,” they said.
Then the things started to cry.
“We’ll have to work on that.”


Storytime: The Solstice Pantheon.

December 24th, 2014

It is the evening again. The evening before the Night.
Do not fear, small ones. You are not the ones who will be summoned to the Knee this day. That year is yet to dawn in your days. But no longer are you mere children, who must lay out the stockings and scrub away the snow-prints! You are youth, and shall learn the songs. And before you learn the songs, you must learn the singers.
Attend! Attend! Attend!
-Recorded litany of a carolmaster of New New New Hampshire, approx. 2374 A.C.

Frossti
One of the Elder Three Singers whose calls are endless to the ear. Appears as a great pillar of water turned solid, boiling away on one side, speckled with black earth on the other. He governs over Faith, Time, and the Cycle itself, and light and warmth are anathema to him – his priests lose digits to frostbite as a sacrement. Small children are his chosens. Each solstice a child is picked and is made sacred to Frossti, and that child receives all desires until the next solstice, when it is staked out in the sun until Frossti takes it away ‘over the hills of snow.’
The earliest Frossti myths make much mention of the hat. It is silk, or top, but it is always old, always old. The juxtaposition of elder hat with new snow creates Frossti, making the connection between the figure and its divine grip over time immaculate even before its eternal death and rebirth are known. It guards the path to the solstice.
If a hand is placed to ear in the strange deep places in the woods when the last ices are fading, it is said the listener can yet hear the thumpity-thump-thump of his passing, as he fades away under the sun.

King Wesslessness
One of the Elder Three Singers whose calls are endless to the ear. He has no form that a man has ever seen but bears a crown upon himself that is never removed. He governs over Abundance, yet only for himself; Flesh and Wine, yet none ever consume them; and Gifts, but the great-gifts made at the height of the sacred season are not his and he has no power over them. He lives alone in a perishing castle at the wend above the woods, and there he feasts alone with his page. The poor are sacred to him but they receive no aid; every solstice he travels the long woods with hot blood in hand and every solstice he is forced to turn back home by the gales to warm himself at his fires once more. Coldness in all regards is his anathema.
The King (eldest of the Elder Three Singers) is considered a paragon of convivial shared humanity, but he is left alone, in the far away past, in the deep wood. His feast is eternal and untouchable. Where Frossti is a promise of endless return, King Wesslessness is a forever-delayed, unshapable hope that will never be fulfilled. The present remains unopened, the feast is far away, and the plenty is as distant from reality as the summer sun is from the nights haunted by the King’s songs.
The land of Wesslessness is unknown and never has been known and never will be known.

Ruedolff
One of the Elder Three Singers whose calls are endless to the ear. There is a great beast in the woods which few have seen, and Ruedolff resembles this beast save for his face, which is obliterated at all times by a blinding red light. He governs over Solitude, Hatred, and Triumph, and friendship is his anathema; to petition the priesthood of Ruedolff mandates that the applicant have no surviving family, and the final test is to vanish into the woods for one week. If on return not a single person inquires as to the applicant’s absence, the applicant is made holy. Lights are special, but only lonely lights in the woods that might guide travellers towards its lair.
The Red One is elusive even more than the King. Ruedolff is solitary as he, but his loneliness is mandated and involuntary, shaped by hatred and spite. Of the Elder Three Singers he is the sole despised; Frossti is feared, Wesslessness is looked upon with sentimentality, but Ruedolff is shunned, mocked, and castigated. So much as his name may not be mentioned in the partaking of merriment, lest he be summoned and derive some pleasure from sport or games. All year round the Red One is despised, and on the very eve of the long cold dark he is finally, grudgingly rewarded: the promise of love is offered to him, if he should but pull the slumbering sun from its cold bed.
Every year, he gives in. Every year, he succeeds. Every year, his deeds are praised quickly, forgotten immediately, and begrudged eternally.

The songs are done. The mantelpiece is set. Your part is through, small ones.
Now go inside and sleep. Let the visions dance and play, and do not resist them, but stay silent and still throughout your long nap.
Dash away. Dash away, all!


Storytime: Trashed.

December 17th, 2014

“Awww now…..what’s wrong?”
Daniel stopped crying. Well, he hadn’t really ever started, really – what was the point with no audience? No, he’d been snuffling. Snuffling and scuffing and worrying over and over.
But there was something more important now, which was finding out where the voice was. Mom was upstairs working. Dad was out. Tammy was next door. The dog probably couldn’t talk.
So it was either him or the clock. And the clock was in no state now. Or ever.
“Thaaaat’s better. No sense crying, heh? None at all. You got a problem there, kid?”
Daniel looked at the clock again.
“Yeah, I thought so. Well, what’re you gonna do, kid? Gotta do something, right?”
“Who are YOU?” asked Daniel. He poked the clock. The minute hand slid off the cracked glass and buried itself in the carpet. A half-tick stopped.
“Well, let’s make introductions. Just listen to me, heh? Follow my word.”
Daniel hesitated. The voice was nice. It was too nice. The sound of smoke and mirrors.
“I’m no stranger, kid. I’m your best friend, been that way for years. Now it’s time to prove it. Follow my word. Over here.”
“In the kitchen.”
“Under the counter.”
“There I am. Nice to meetcha.”
Daniel didn’t yet know what ‘disconcerted’ meant, but if he had he would’ve described himself that way right then. He was pretty sure garbage bins weren’t meant to talk, and he said so.”
“Awwww come off it, kid! I’m here to help you out and here you are, talking trash at me! Naw, nah, na, that’s my job, kid! Let’s talk trash. Let’s get you outta this mess. How’s your momma’s clock, eh?”
Daniel flinched.
“That bad, heh? Oh no, oh too bad. Don’t worry. I gotta plan. I wanna help you, kid, on account of us being such good friends, even if you never said so on account of your youth-ful self-ish-ness.” The lid hissed happily as it snapped a single word into three. “Just c’mere, kid. Gimme the clock.”
“It’s mom’s.”
“Yeah, but if you break it you bought it. That’s not a clock anymore – it’s a mess. And that mess is YOURS, kid. But if you bring it over here, weeellll…. I’ll take it right off your hands and straight outta the picture. Easy.”
Daniel looked at his feet. Saw the broken glass winking at him. Saw his mom’s face.
“Good kid. Here, take the dustpan. Now I’m gonna say aaaaah, right? Ready?”
“Aaaaaahhhhhh…..”

Daniel’s mother never did find the clock. Tammy said it wasn’t her fault, and Mom said maybe it was her boyfriend, and Tammy didn’t speak to mom for a week and a day.
He cried a bit at first, at hearing the living room all quiet. But he was only little, and it all melted away soon enough.

“Well, THAT’S a mess.”
Daniel agreed before he thought about who he was agreeing with. There was a lot of garbage in that bin across the way from him in the station. Spray cans. Some dog crap in a little sack. A lot of really incriminating photographs.
That wasn’t the real mess though. The real mess was wearing the handcuffs and the swollen eye and nose.
“Wellll…. We all make mistakes, heh?”
Daniel found the voice. It smiled happily back at him through a mouthful of paper and candy bar wrappers, tucked beside a desk. The sergeant on duty didn’t seem to notice.
“Shhhh kid, shhhhhhooooooosh. In-cog-neat-o. Now, I say we all make mistakes. And this is a big one, right? But look, I’m your pal, kid. I’m your bud. Your chum. Your bro. You can lean on me, kid. Just give me the nod and I’ll help you out. They ain’t got nothing on you nohow once I’m done.”
Daniel thought of his dad picking him up from the station. Thought of the things he’d say once he’d see the things Daniel (and Porter and Conner and David, but THEY didn’t have the bruises and blame, oh no, they left Daniel holding the bag – and the cans) had said in paint on the mosque’s wall. That made Daniel stop thinking and start nodding.
“Smart kid,” said the bin. “Now just cough for me, heh? Cough a bit.”
Daniel coughed, and coughed, and coughed until he couldn’t stop and the sergeant sighed and got up and smacked him on the back a bit. Her belt clipped the box and sent it spiraling down, down, down.
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

No evidence. No fingerprints. Even the digital camera had gone missing.
Well, Daniel’s dad said that was it, no case. And that got him his share of glares, and that got him his share of speeding tickets, and there was a proper row for the next four years until the family moved. Daniel tried not to think about it.

“Ac-a-dem-ick pro-bay-shun. Now THERE’S a winner for ya.”
Daniel kicked his trashcan violently.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! What is this shit, kid? I’m here to help, this is the thanks I get! I oughta ditch you here and now for this crap, if I weren’t so kind and kringle-hearted.”
“It won’t help,” managed Daniel, through lips so white they’d bleached his small, awful moustache. “You can’t help. It’s on his desk. It’s in the computer. Tomorrow, it’ll be across campus. They know I did it.”
The trashcan snorted, and Kleenex wheezed free from under its lid before being sucked back in. “Hah! ‘Puters. Faxes. Modems. Whaddo I care? You think those matter? Kid, what goes in me, stays in me. For-ev-er. You get me?”
“No,” said Daniel.
The can creaked, and the lid popped up and smacked him in the chin. “Smarten up, kid! You’re young ‘n stupid so I am cutting you a lotta slack, but there are limits! Give me respect! And listen up – all that zero-one-one-zero-one garbage means jack. I don’t care what it is, it goes in me, it goes away. All tidied up. For-I-repeat-myself-ever. You get me?”
Daniel looked at the red pen on the paper in his hand again. He read it as far as ‘plagiar-’ this time before he had to look away.
“You get me. Now just drop that nasty ol’ thing in here, heh? It can’t hurt you anyways.”

It took a lot of doing to get tenure demolished, but Daniel saw it before he graduated. A false accusation like that, even after a formal apology…. Well. It soured things. You’re not nominated for department head anymore, your colleagues don’t talk like they used to, and your classes shrink shrink shrink. You can’t get fired, but you can quit. Daniel just aimed for a seventy-eight average and kept his mouth shut.

“Oh boy, oh man, oh man kid,” the voice sighed. “You sure do know how to up the ante, heh?”
Daniel stopped mid-swear. He looked up, he looked down, he opened drawers and flicked on lights and was in the midst of tearing apart his desk when he heard the chuckle. “Not there, kid. Out HERE. C’mon. Out HERE.”
The office door creaked open, bumped against the dumpster. It smiled at him, disarmingly.
“Long time no see, kid,” it said. “Problems?”
Daniel looked back at Stewart. Yeah. Problems. How to describe it? Well, he tried.
“He was just. I just. There was. It shouldn’t have.”
He stopped trying. The dumpster was still smiling.
“Yeah. He was just something-or-nother, you just woopsy-doodled, there was a LOT of icky-accident, and it shouldn’t have splatter-carpeted. Ooooh my, kid. When’d you get that temper, heh? Good thing you didn’t flash the po-po that card back in the day or you’d be gettin’ out of time right now.”
Daniel looked at Stewart again. No, wait, his mistake – he’d never stopped. It was his eyes, that was it. He couldn’t tear away from those eyes. Was one pupil bigger than the other, or was that blood?
“Can get you outta this time right now, kid.”
Daniel licked his lips and blinked. He felt like he’d been pared down to a chameleon’s instincts. All the ape had gone home and left the lizard in charge.
“Just a nod and a by-your-leave. Or one or the other. I ain’t picky.”
Nod. Sharp, short, darting. Blink.
“That’ll do. Now, get ready for this – here, put your arm in. Over the shoulder, fireman’s carry like they do it on tee-vee. Now, wait for me, heh? Aaaaaahhhhh.”

There was no funeral. Stewart had complained about the internship before – as if unpaid wasn’t normal – and a few someones said he’d been homesick.
Serves him right for not keeping up, they all agreed. Couldn’t even keep his cubicle clean. Not like Daniel. Good ol’ Daniel.

Good ol’ Daniel looked down at the letter on his desk, and he wished he was at the bottom of the sea.
“Hey kid.”
No wait, he wished the letter was there instead.
“Kiiiiidd. You fooling me again?”
No, no, no, what he REALLY wanted was for that voice there to be there. He rubbed his forehead, felt the temples under the loose skin. How many years ago had that popped up? “I told you. Go away.”
“Aw kid, don’t gimme that claptrap. You snorting anything? Typical elected official, kid. I knew you’d go far.”
He glared at his garbage bin – it was small, sleek, and discreet, but right now it offended him more than an open manhole. “Go away. I can fix this.”
“Kid? You read a paper recently?”
Daniel threw a pen at it, spat a curse as it chuckled.
“This ain’t the ol’ days, kid. You go around creeping on your staff, they don’t just go home and smile at the family before they down a bottle of good ol’ Jack. You’re in the drink, kid. Don’t go and stick a straw in it to spite me, heh?”
“I can fix this,” said Daniel. He scrabbled across his desk, found another pen. There. Halfway there. “I can fix this myself.”
“Can fix yourself right outta your pension, you mean. You figure you’ll really get away with a little bitty it-is-to-my-pro-found-ree-grett and retire gracefully, kid? They’ll eat you alive.”
“I don’t need you,” said Daniel. And he regretted it.
There was a nice long, slow moment in his office while they both mulled that over.
Then the garbage bin let its mouth slide open as it laughed, long and wide, wide, wide.

When it was done, Daniel hurled the letter into it without so much as a word. And he sped the whole way home, through every red light, past every stop sign. Two tickets. Didn’t slow down.
He was re-elected in the fall, and nobody heard as much as a whimper from his interns.

“Kid, you have done exceptionally.”
Daniel paused halfway through a sip, coffee gritting against his teeth. He still liked the cheap stuff. It reminded him of a long time ago, a time when he didn’t have to look over speeches and try to imagine himself saying those words to the world without breaking into tears.
“I mean it. It’s been a looooong couple of years since I got anyone into this office.” Hot breath touched lightly on his ankle, moving in and out of something that didn’t have lungs. “But y’know what? I could count on you. I knew it. ‘Cause you’re special, kid. You’ve got something nobody else does.”
Daniel’s eyes were frozen on his page now. He was sure if he kept reading the voice would stop, but he didn’t seem to be able to finish the sentence.
“You don’t never say no.”
He felt something prickle at the corners of his eyes.
“I like you, kid. Shame that the papers are going to get all fussed. Weeeelll, WOULD be fussed. I think you know what I can do about-”
“I hate you,” whispered Daniel. It sounded very small and pathetic and the only way he knew it had heard him was it stopped to chuckle.
“Now why would you go and say that, kid?” it asked. He could hear the humor in its voice, the happy indulgence, and that was what made him go and kick it over.
“You. Won’t. Go. AWAY!” he shrieked, each period a pump of his ankle. “It’s MY job!” Kick. “I’M in charge!” Stomp. “I’m RESPONSIBLE!” Pleasantly oiled leather impacted on smooth plastic with a crunch. “And I. WILL. FIX. THIS. MESS. MY. SELF.”
There was a crack, a snap, and a thump.

Leaders die in office, even in peacetime. It happens. And compared to the way some of them go, a stroke is nice and normal. Nothing to fuss about. The papers even put aside the latest scandals to wave a flag or three.
But nobody could quite explain the mess on the floor. A tangle of faded paper and smeared ink, of shattered electronics – and a small scrap or two of human bone, quite unsettlingly.
And everywhere, trampled into the carpet so deeply that they gave in and replaced it, there was the winking shine of broken glass.


Storytime: Death of a Saurischian.

December 10th, 2014

There are certain things that are certain.
Life, mostly. Death, usually. And whenever you get those two running hand in hand, you face a third – which, unlike them, poses itself as a question.
What the hell do you do with the body?
Pinning it under dirt is a good one, if you’ve got the muscle for it, and that muscle is allocated in an anatomically proper manner.
“Brother. Look at your arms. Look at them.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“…they’re too small.”
“No, we’re not burying him.”
Setting it on fire needs some decent grasp of tools.
“That won’t work either!”
“Why not? We saw that big forest fire, remember? Remember that? We ran and ran and ran and the Littlest One fell behind and we never saw it again and we ate our meals crisp and crunchy for-”
“Your brain is barely the size of a banana, and you want to crate, nurture, and build a flame strong enough to eat fifty feet of flesh?”
“It was just an idea!”
“A stupid one!”
You could always throw it up on a stone and let the birds and wind take it away, if you’re willing to stay upwind for a few weeks.
“Birds? BIRDS?!”
“Well, pterosaurs at leas-“
“It would take MONTHS! YEARS!”
“You’re yelling at me again!”
“You’re being stupid at me again!”
In the case of the mortal remains of Grash – Giganotosaurus, father, loving, murderous tyrant – none of these options were practical.
“Well I don’t see YOU coming up with any plans!”
“Because you’re taking up all my air yammering about your STUPID ONES!”
“You’re mean! Father always said you were mean!”
“Mother always said you were stupid!”
“Well, she’s dead so who cares!”
“So’s father!”
“He died second!”
“HE CHOKED ON HIS OWN MEAL!”
“It was a big bite! Nothing wrong with a big bite!”
“Maybe you’d realize how wrong you were if you had a BIGGER BRAIN for your BIG BITES.”
“So you’ve got a banana and a half! Big deal! You’re mean!”
Clearly, some tact and imaginative thought was needed here. Luckily, I knew just the woman for the job.
“Sounds like you’ve got problems, kids,” I said, in as laid-back a manner as I could. Which was easy. Because I was lying back.
Well, pinned back at least.
The older and angrier one – Gmmr – peeled his neck back to glare at me past his toes. “We’re busy,” he told me, and put a little more pressure on that foot to drive his point home into my chest.
“And you’re busy too,” chimed in brother Gaw. “You’ve got problems too, right? I mean, we’re going to eat you as soon as we just-“
“As soon as NOTHING, at the rate you’re coming up with ideas,” hissed Gmmr. “We don’t eat ‘till father’s buried, and if you don’t shut up this second we’ll both starve to death. Now. Shut. Up.”

I watched the clouds move. A nice day. For other people, theoretically.

“Know what to do yet?”
“I WAS THINKING!” shrieked Gmmr.
“Sorry! You think quietly!”
“We don’t all think WITH OUR LIPS MOVING!”
“We don’t have lips!”
“And you MOVE THEM!”
“Kids!” I said, as sternly as I could manage with a half-lungful of breath. “Don’t fight! I’ve got an idea.”
“Nobody asked you anything, nobody cares, and it’s bad anyways,” said Gmmr with practiced efficiency and bitterness. “I’m thinking again.”
“Nah, cheer up!” I said. “I’ve just done that for you!”
“Gosh,” said Gaw in awe. “Even with all that noise from –“
“Shut up shut shut up shut UP. And you!”
“Me?”
“SHUT UP.”
“I’ll listen,” offered Gaw.
“No, you should shut-“
“I can get your father’s funeral over and done with before dinner,” I said, as quickly as I could manage.
Long, slow eye contact. Some general reptilian signalling going on here, a system of social queues difficult to grasp without scales, a homogenous dental array, or a cloaca.
“That’s how it works already,” pointed out Gaw.
“Yes, that’s what we were just SAY-ing,” said Gmmr, testily. “It’s a matter of protocol.”
“No no no no, I mean today. Today’s dinner. I can have you two kids happy and chewing my legs off before the sun sets tonight.”
More elaborate body language based around slow blinks.
“That good?” asked Gaw.
“Acceptable…” mused Gmmr. “Alright. But no chewing. Molars disgust me. We bite and shred, like civilized creatures should.”
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll keep my heterodont opinions to myself,”
Gmmr shifted his weight and I inhaled my first full breath for two hours. Tasted good. Well, tasted like rotting death and carcharodontosaurid toe-jam, but goodness was relative, right?
The foot moved again, and I was rudely booted forwards. My nose whacked into cold meat.
“Well, there he is. Clever funeral idea, please.” Left unsaid: now.
I rubbed my feet with my other feet and I thought to myself: me too.
But I made do.
“Alright. So. What we need is…”

I kept my eyes on the clouds, not the brothers. It made me stammer less. Just watch the white flow on the blue and let the words follow each other out of your mouth until you can pretend they made sense.
“…and then you’re home free for the evening.” And then you can eat me.
They looked at each other again.
“That’s gross,” said Gaw.
“That’s…intriguing,” said Gmmr.
“What? No, no it is-“
“It’s very natural.”
“It’s sick! You know we don’t-“
“Oh, and what happened to the second Littlest One, hmm?”
Gaw flinched. “Uhhh…… he fell behind?”
“Yes!” said Gmmr with mirthless madly interested humor. “Yes! That’s right! He fell behind!”
“Yeah,” said Gaw. “Yeah. It is.”
“Into your mouth.”
“Yea – NO!”
Gmmr clacked his jaws and turned back to me. “It’s inappropriate and it’s disgusting and it’s just what we need right now. Father has to go somewhere, and we’re hungry. This’ll do nicely.”
“Sounds good!”
“And we can have you for dessert.”
“Sounds good.”
“Or maybe mid-course.”
“That’s…well, actually, you might want to hear the second part.”
Gmmr paused, mouth half-open over Grash’s flank. His orange eye flickered over me.

The trees were heavy with bodies. Spindly limbs and big blank eyes bulging over long, narrow beaks.
“This is too much like sharing. I don’t like it.”
“Hush.”
The ground was a-stir with life. Little lithe muscles dancing in circles past each other, living on nervous energy and a burning tank of meat.
“But they hated him and now we’re gonna let them-“
“That’s the point!”
The riverside was seemingly quiet. But if you looked at the water, too many little lights gleamed back at you to be just reflections of the stars. Some reflections winked at you.
“What’s the point if we don’t even get to eat him?”
Gmmr sighed. I admired that sigh. I couldn’t get that effect. Then again, I couldn’t push more air through my lungs that I massed, so it wasn’t really my fault. “Tell him, dessert.”
“Right, right. Right. Listen, kid, it’s a matter of respect. Your dad’s dead, right?”
“Right.”
“So you’re in charge now, right?”
“Right!”
“So you’re showing that by letting everyone have a bite of him because you’re so badass you can afford to go hungry, seeing as you’ll just run ‘em all down later and eat them whenever you feel like it.”
Gaw digested this. I tracked the idea’s progression through his brain by monitoring the saliva on his jaws.
“Gosh,” he said.
Maybe half a banana.
“Can’t I just eat them now? I really want to eat them n-“
“Shut up. Alright, dessert, ready to start this?”
I nodded.
“Go on, say your piece.”
I dragged myself to some semblance of uprightness – oh, the left hind leg did NOT like that one bit – and looked at a crowd of things that wanted to eat me.
“Honorable carnivores!” I said, with all the sincerity you can manage after a day of being literally underfoot. “Noble flesh-eaters! On this day, you are released from your tyranny!”
I paused for a second. No applause. Damnit, hard to read a crowd that mostly communicates through biting.
“…and delivered unto a new one!” I continued, trying not to lose rhythm. “Grash, hatched of, uh…”
“Grunch,” whispered Gaw, slightly louder than I could shout.
“…thank you GRUNCH, has passed from this world, and in his place now stand his lovely, intelligent-“
“Banana and a half-“
“You? HAH!”
“-and deeply vicious and fearsome hatchlings, Gmmr and Gaw. They pledge that they will continue their father’s practices and be unmerciful in the extreme, however-“
“She said your name first, why did she say your name-“
“I’m the one that matters. Shut up.”
“-they are not, uh, un…benevolent. Ish. Rulers? And they will…” I blinked a little too much, and felt sweat moving up from under the skin. Can’t stop the train of thought now. Can’t stop it now. Can’t stop it “Definitely show that by letting you all take a bite from their father’s aged, slightly-decomposed, battle-scarred, war-torn, terrifying, awe-inspiring carcass in hopes that it will inspire you to be slightly less timid and ineffectual prey when they hunt you down and devour you later.”
Still no applause. Oh damn I hope this works.
“At their word, you feast on flesh and don’t stop until you hit bone!” And then I bowed, or fell over, or both. It looked okay I guess. I wasn’t trying to figure that out, I was watching the brothers and thinking pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework.
Pause. They both were looking at me.
Pleaseworkpleasework.
Then they looked at each other, and my pulse quickened.
Then out at the crowd.
Then Gaw cleared his throat of six cubic feet of mucus and said “Well then I guess you can-“
“Eat,” said Gmmr. “Now.”
“Hey you can’t-“
“Shut up. Eat. NOW!”
No applause. No movement.
A single little scavenger took a half-step forwards.
I’d never actually seen a woosh in motion before, but there it was. More like a whoom, really. And above the rumble of hurrying feet and gnashing jaws tearing into leathery hide, there was a thunderous whine.
“Why’d you do that?!”
“Do what?”
“You always-“
“Tell people what to do? Someone has to.”
“But you-“
“And it certainly isn’t you.”
“Why-!”
“Because you’re an IDIOT.”
“Can’t you-“
“Who won’t SHUT UP.”
“That’s-“
“Even though I’ve told you so nine thousand ti”
A foot moved without consideration, and I went for a quick flight that ended abruptly halfway up a tree. The world flicked on and off for a second, but when I came back in again I was smiling because I’d heard a sweet sound. Seven tons of dinosaur impacting seven other tons of dinosaur, against the backing of a roar ripped straight from the bile duct.
“STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”

I didn’t get the best view of what happened next, and I was a bit distracted. But I heard a lot of insults, a lot of violence, and a good deal of biting and shredding.
No chewing though.
And well, the last thing I saw before I lit out for the night – just a glance over my shoulder, because on three good legs you don’t linger – was the two of them tipping over right into Grash’s half-excavated ribcage, right onto a crocodile’s skull, where it did what crocodiles do naturally and bit them.
After that, well, blood’s flowing, you’re there for meat, and what does it matter if your next mouthful’s warmer than you expected? All meat, right?

So I left the funeral as they set out the main course, before the tears started. I never liked those things anyways.


Storytime: Thudmaker.

December 3rd, 2014

Bang, clang. The day was rattling on the windowpane, slamming and knocking and trying to break in. It was fit to send your brains running home to bed, which was convenient because that’s where Thudmaker already was. Sleeping.
The day smashed the window in, climbed over the pillow, and poured into Thudmaker’s eye. The eye blinked. The bed shook. And up stood Thudmaker, ten thousand stone and a hundred feet tall; scales for skin and horns for hair; with more muscles than belly and more belly than anything.
“Mmmrgn. Hungry.”
So the day started up like they always did. Thudmaker got out the food and the little Thudmakers ate it. The biggest two ate fast, got up faster, and ran around the house sixteen times until they’d pulled together all the bits and pieces of Thudmaker’s outfit. The yellow hat, the overalls, the battered brown boots.
“Be safe,” they said. “Be careful.”
Thudmaker nodded and hugged them and walked off with hammer in hand and a bit of bread in belly. Another day, another job, another bit of work.
Better go find some then.

So Thudmaker walked and walked and down and by Thudmaker came to the sound of a godawful lot of noise and such. It was an old man with a black suit and a black cane and a black car, sitting at the side of the road next to the old dirt heap that the little Thudmakers used as a playground and yelling at his cool-looking phone like it’d pissed down his trouser leg.
“You!” he shouted. “YOU! You gormless git-shit! You pissless pennyfucker! I’ll buy your house and have it fed to you! I’ll come to your door and eat the meals right off your plates! I’ll use your vacations to have larger, showier vacations right next to you and I will have a good time doing it! GOODBYE!”
He hung up. Then he spied Thudmaker. “YOU!”
“Wasn’t me,” said Thudmaker.
“No, no, no, not THAT you. YOU. You must work for me! I need this foundation built! This is a good pile of dirt this is, this is a good pile of dirt. Nobody’s building on it and it was a steal, I say, a steal. I want a condominium on this thing lickety-split and sold fast, before this housing market goes up in flames. You build me this ninety-million dollar building and I will give you this little shiny thing I found on the ground.”
Thudmaker looked as carefully through nearsighted eyes as was possible. The thing was sort of shaped like halfway between a blob and a lump, and it was very shiny indeed. Sort of. “Deal.”
“Good, good. Now hurry up or I’ll break your contract.”
Thudmaker stood up tall, put hammer to hand and hand to task.
Thud, thud, thud.
And bam, there was a nice new condominium, sitting right on top of the big dirt heap that the little Thudmakers had spent so many hours making little worlds in and jumping on and falling off.
“Lovely, lovely. Here, have your shiny thing and go away.”
“Thanks,” said Thudmaker. Tucked that into a pocket of the overalls, good and tight.
Nice, but not enough. Not to keep all the little bellies full.

So Thudmaker kept walking, walking, walking, and kept on walking until someone said Hey You because Hey You was Thudmaker’s secret name that everyone had found out years ago.
“That’s me,” said Thudmaker.
“I need a demolition job,” said the person who knew Hey You’s name. She was long and heavy and serrated along her edges, like a Bowie knife but with a less friendly face. “This hovel’s in the way, and we need it smashed. You look big and dumb enough to do the trick.”
Thudmaker considered the object of her disdain. It was Thudmaker’s house.
“Pay me,” said Thudmaker.
She pursed her lips. “I am authorized to distribute one-half of a little piece of string.”
“Not interested.”
A sigh, as long and theatrical as the human-plus-a-little-bit-of-lizard lung could manage. “Fine. A full one hundred percent share of a little piece of string.”
Thudmaker walked up to the house and knocked on the roof. The oldest little Thudmaker opened the door a crack.
“C’mon out kids,” said Thudmaker. “Time to move.”
They carried out all their clothing and their toys and put them in Thudmaker’s old suitcase, and they stood there by the side of the road as Thudmaker stood up tall, put hammer in hand and hammer to house.
Thud, thud, thud.
And no more house, pounded so flat into the dirt that only the tip of the roof stuck out.
“Satisfactory,” said the woman, making a note in her tiny and ridiculously expensive yet already obsolete computer. “You may have seventy-two percent of a bit of string.”
This was more than Thudmaker had expected, but it still wasn’t enough. So Thudmaker said thanks, and tucked the string into another pocket of the overalls, and trudged off.
The little Thudmakers followed, and their bellies too.

Now by and large Thudmaker got tired of walking, so they all sat down for a spell next to the river, and Thudmaker’s toes got a nice long dip to keep them happy. And as they all sat there with their luggage, up hobbled a beard.
“Nice place,” said the beard. Thudmaker realized that there was a person behind it. “Beautiful place. Waterfront. Good proximity to community centers. Think I’ll dam it. You up for the job?”
Thudmaker looked at the little river. Thudmaker looked at the little Thudmakers. Thudmaker gently retrieved Thudmaker’s hat from the smallest of the little Thudmakers, who was wearing it as a full-body coat. “What you paying?”
“Ehhhh…..” The beardman cast about for a moment, then bent over and picked something up. “This stick. No more, no less. Take it or leave it.”
“Can I have a bigger stick?”
“What are you, some kind of communist? Loads of people wanting to make dams, friend. Loads of people. Scads. Gobs. Two-thirds of this stick, take it or leave it.”
“Deal,” said Thudmaker, taking off the overalls and handing them to the little Thudmakers. “Here, hold onto these. Going to get a bit damp.”
And Thudmaker stood up tall, put hammer in hand, put hand to river, dredged up stone from stone and strength from strength.
Thud, thud, thud.
And there was a proud new concrete sky in that part of the world, soaring hundreds and hundreds of feet and quite confusing the little river, which puddled up behind it and left Thudmaker and the little Thudmakers high and dry along the riverbed.
“This will do…sort of,” said the beardman. “But you took too long. No stick for you.”
“Pay me,” said Thudmaker.
The beardman scoffed, distinct from both cough and sneer, but with elements of both. “For such substandard, slapdash work? Never! I would sooner die.”
“Pay me or I’m going on strike,” said Thudmaker.
“Oh boo hoo. Some of us work for a living, loafer. Now hush up and clear off; you’re on my property.”
Thudmaker stood up tall, dropped hammer from hand, and sat down. Hard.

THUD.

Down the road, there was a creak and a crack and a woosh and down, down, tumbling down came ninety million dollars’ worth of condominium, tumbling through a sinkhole deep enough to swallow Timbuktu and you too until all that was left was a nice jumbled dirt heap full of shiny treasures, the most visible a cool-looking phone.
Up the road, there was a push and a pull and a POP as a whole house just hopped back up out of the dirt, launching a real estate agent over three kilometres.
And right there, right at that moment, there was a looooooong slooooowwww creeaaaakkkkinggg from the concrete sky.
“Wait!” shouted the beardman. “Half a stick! A third!”
“Fine,” said Thudmaker. “Hand it over.”
“Here, take it!” he shrieked. And he threw it to the ground.
The creaking stopped. Then one little noise.
Drip.
“Oops,” said Thudmaker.

When all the fuss was over, most of the concrete was clotted around Thudmaker’s thighs. Thudmaker picked it up, rolled it into a ball, rolled that ball into a smaller ball, rolled that ball until it fit between thumb and forefinger, and threw it away. Then Thudmaker took off the yellow hat and the big brown boots and heaved a sigh.
“Here,” said Thudmaker’s second-oldest, and passed Thudmaker the shiny thing.
“Here,” said Thudmaker’s oldest, and passed Thudmaker the bit of string.
Thudmaker sat down soft, put lump to line and line to stick. And they sat there for a good evening while the river played with bits of stone, and went home with fish dinners.


Storytime: Akki.

November 26th, 2014

The women sat at the campfire, watching embers turn into fireflies. The elder held out her hand: two straws. The younger reached out: one straw. The elder’s palm flexed, and the fire flared: no straws.
“I’m for it, then,” said the younger. “Don’t forget about me, you hear? Be careful now. You watch yourself.”
The elder nodded, and she turned over in on herself in her blanket, watching the fireflies bleed out into the dark.

The younger woman walked down the hill from the fire, jumped through the crags, darted under the broken slabs, danced through the scree, and stood at last before the great dead stump. No tree grew for seven day’s walk in this waste, not after this had been felled.
“Hey you!” she sang out. “Listen! Old Cold-Akki! Akki! Akki Boulder-Nose! Akki Bone-Grinder! Hey! Akki with the teeth! I’m calling you out, I’m calling you up! Listen!”
The stump shook, and from its base out crawled Akki, all legs and lank and a big smile that wasn’t a smile that was just teeth from edge to edge. She wore nothing but hair and thrived on bristliness. “I’m here,” said Akki. “What do you want with me now that I’m out? You get a request, and a meal, and a night. All at once. Now what do you want with me? Now that I’m out.”
“I’m up for a fight, if you’d rather,” said the young woman. “I’m plenty strong and you’re plenty wicked. Lots want you dead, Akki. You eat the young and mock the old; you steal husbands and kill wives; you killed this tree and you killed your family. You’re better off bones than not. Come on now.”
“Let’s eat first then,” said Akki. “I’ll not go cheating anyone who’s asking for me. You’ll get your meal and at least half a night first, then we finish off with the request. Let’s eat first.”
“I can eat after you’re bones on stones, Akki,” said the young woman. “Come on now, let’s fight. I’ll chew you up later, just you wait.”
Akki smiled a real smile now, a real wicked one, and she was ready. “You first,” she said. “Don’t be shy, take a stab, aim at my heart and don’t miss. You swing at me first.”
And the young woman didn’t need encouragement, so she aimed straight and – bang! – sent her blade right at Akki’s old cold stone of a heart, but it bounced off her iron skin and oh she laughed. The rocks shivered at it, but she laughed until they split.
“Oh little thing!” she laughed. “You’ve as much might as a mouse! I’m tougher than rock and stronger than stone; metal sparks and wood breaks. Only thing that goes and splits my own flesh and bone is my own flesh and bone, and I don’t feel generous. Oh little thing, I don’t at all.”
And Akki swooped down on the young woman with her long, long legs and kicked her limb from limb, bone from blood, and ate until she was full all night long. Then she belched, and she spit, and she tucked herself right into her stump for the evening.

The elder woman was watching from the campfire, with her ears. Her eyes were shut but she let them leak a little. Then she curled tighter, and slept until dawn washed it all away.

Now was next day, and down the slope came the elder woman. She slipped through the crags, crawled under the broken slabs, tiptoed through the scree, and then she was there at the great dead stump of Akki, where she could smell the curdled dreams of the old hag-giant brewing.
“Akki,” she said. “Wake up now.”
There was a snort and a wheeze and up from the roots came Akki again, twice as fat and half again as leggy. She wore smug like a sheet.
“Two?” she asked. “There’s more than one, that is, that’s more. Two?”
The elder woman shrugged.
“Well, what you want is what you want. Request, meal, night. You get them now, you got them coming. Which do you want now, what you want, that is?”
“I’m not so hungry,” said the elder woman. “And I’m not so sleepy. I’ll trade you those terms. How about some stories? A story, and a carve for each story. Three stories.”
Akki preened herself at this. “Yes, I carve the best, it’s no lie,” she boasted. “No one can best my toes when they set themselves to wood, stone, or bone. I’ll handle them all, just you watch. It’s no lie. But we’ll make it fair, we will. You give me a story back for each story I tell, you see?”
“I see,” said the elder woman. “Then let’s get going.” And she held up a log she’d saved from the fire, hardened to a burnt tip with a weight that could stretch arms.
“Oh, a fancy!” said Akki. And she snatched it up in her left leg, and she sat down on her right leg, and she began to carve with her long, long toe-nails as she talked. “Way back when

back when the world ran round slower because it was just starting, I was the greatest and strongest of all the peoples. I was the fastest and swiftest. I was so quick and so tough that the woman who lives in the sun had to send down special sunbeams to wither up my arms to these little twigs, these little twigs. That was to save all the other animals and plants from my hands – oh, my hands could clutch boulders and crush bears. So you see, even back then they all feared old Akki, even then. A cruel world, way back when.

“That’s a sad story,” said the elder woman.
“It is, so sad, so sad,” sighed Akki, rotating the log in her feet. “But now you’re owed for me, my little storythief, and so you must tell me more. So sad.”
“Fine enough,” said the elder woman. “Let me tell you

about a long time ago, when all this was trees and all the trees were tall. Back then there was a person that stood short and squat in the forest, hiding from things under roots and stumps. It was fearful, so fearful. It feared so long and feared so hard it never spoke to anyone, and then it forgot what other people were but fear. So it hated them. And in the dark of night it crept out from under the logs and over the trees and it grabbed their heads with its hands and their necks with its feet and it throttled them slow. And it did this all night, all nights, until the people were scared and its legs had grown and grown. It made the world crueler, way back when.

Akki frowned. “I don’t like your story,” she muttered. “I don’t like it one bit. It’s all lies and also fiction. Here! Here’s your stupid carving! I don’t like it!”
The elder woman caught the hurled thing. It was a great club now, riven through the heart with arrows within arrows. At the head was a dear, bleeding down its neck.
“Perfect,” she said. And she held up her arm and hurled the club at Akki’s head. It bounced off with a rattlepan sound, breaking into a thousand pieces, and oh how that old hag laughed, laughed, laughed.
“So sad, so small!” she laughed, laughed, laughed. “I’m tougher than rock and stronger than stone, nothing –”
“Oh I know that, I knew that, and I wasn’t trying to harm you,” said the elder woman. “But it was an ugly carving. I had to get rid of it. Here, do a better job on my next.” And she held up a shard of flint that was as long as her forearm.
Akki’s face twisted up in knots at that. “Ugly!” she hissed. “You know ugly better than me, ugly one! Let me tell you an ugly story then, for your ugly self! Ugly! Now, you

see how everyone was trying to gang up on me a lot, on poor lonely Akki. But there was one who took my side, who told me it was all fine. What a liar he was, to poor lonely Akki! What a louse! What a worm! He went and spoke venom behind my back and told all the creatures and vermin of the world where I slept in my nice warm bed, and they all came and stabbed me so full of sharpness that I still clank in my sleep! Oh, how he tried to dissemble when I said so to him. Oh, how he tried to stab me one last time! But it’ll take more than any thing to cut up Akki, I’d decided, so he just bounced off my poor old hide. I did him as he wanted to do me, and now you see how everyone was my foe, of poor lonely Akki.

“That’s funny,” said the elder woman, leaning back a bit – Akki’s toes were flying fast now, and chips of stone were bouncing off her shirt at a fearful speed. “I’ve got a story about those times too. Now listen to what I say about

when that little nasty sneak had gotten just about everyone’s relations, everyone went looking for it. But it was a good sneak, and it kept itself hidden at night in the big bed of its only friend, its lover. And one day that lover asked why oh why were its fingers and toes so red at the morning. And it lied, and it smiled, but it couldn’t stop that lover from following it in the evening. Oh the things it saw done. Can’t be repeated. And when it came home to bed, well, who could blame the lover for quarreling, for arguing? And we all know who struck first. Almost got smothered in its own blanket, but it pled for mercy and bit the hand that granted it. Bit it off then bit more. It hadn’t had the taste for blood yet then, had it? But that started.
Know what else started? Sleeping without blankets. Without a bed. Nowhere to hide now but underplaces, like a bug.

Akki spat at this, and threw down the carving at her feet. “So!” she fumed. “That’s how it is! What a nasty thing you are, what a liar you are to poor Akki! You aren’t here to listen, you’re here to mock! Meddling with truth is a shameful thing! So that’s how it is!”
“Mmm,” said the elder woman. She held the flint blade in her palm. On its surface, a bed of thorns ate a bird. “Mmm.”
She flung that blade at Akki’s heart. It broke into brittles, and Akki giggled.
“Tickles,” she said. “One more carving for you. One more story for you to RUIN and SPIT at. Then I eat. Tickles here,” she said, and she touched her gut.
“As it is,” said the elder woman. She stooped to the ground and scuffled through the dirt and grime of the stump-rot, and she plucked up a long, gleaming leg-bone, freshly-chewed and with almost a hint of spit on its shaft. “Here,” she said.
“Leftovers,” grumbled Akki as she took it in her feet. “You cripple my creativity with leftovers. Well, you’ll have a leftover then, about

a leftover thing, the last thing, a selfish thing. You see after their treachery failed to kill old Akki, poor old Akki fought back hard. She took up a war and she fought the biggest deer and scattered the rest and fought the biggest bear and scattered the rest and she killed and she ate and she felt good, but they kept coming back. They wanted her land, selfish things.
So poor old Akki went to the heart of this matter, this land, and she found the root of the problem. These roots. And she took up her claws – poor thing, her toes were all she had left to battle with – and she took up her cause, hah, and she tore the greatest tree in all the land limb from limb from trunk from stem. And that – THAT – put an end to all… this. For good. For poor old Akki.

The elder woman scratched herself for a long moment, made longer.
“Well?!” asked Akki crossly.
“Well what?” asked the elder woman.
“What’s your nasty thing now, well?” asked Akki. “Come on. Call me names, curse me down, be a child like the child you are, come on!”
“I tell nothing but truths,” said the elder woman. “But I’ll tell you a story too. Here you go, why don’t

you hear about the time that thing went running and hiding, with its lover’s blood on its lips. It hid and it scurried but it never felt safe, not with all eyes and hands against it. So it ran under the trunk of the grandest tree, the one thing in all the land that loved all in it, even the thing, and it ate its heartwood from the inside out, for the spite of it, for the health it gave. It stole the tree’s bark for its skin and it said that since nothing loved it but itself nothing could harm it because love made weakness. And it laughed as all the trees died and the earth sickened and turned up dead, and it called itself fancy in its muck when all its friends and relations fled. And it never left.

The little bone knife smacked into the elder woman’s chest hard enough to make her stagger, hilt-first. Her watering eyes showed bones within bones on its surface, a scrimshaw of scavengers preying on scavengers.
Akki said nothing. Her face said a lot.
“This is ugly,” said the elder woman. “This is an ugly carving. But it was made from a beautiful thing.”
Akki said nothing.
The elder woman waited.
Akki said nothing.
The elder woman waited.
“WHAT?!” shrieked Akki, patience exhausted. “You come to my home, you demand my sculptures, you make rudeness at all turns! You beset me! WHAT do you mean by this?!”
The elder woman stood up, stepped forwards, and drove the ugly, ugly bone knife forwards until it scraped against Akki’s spine from the inside out.
They stood there, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbreak.
“But…my flesh and bone..” said Akki.
“Came looking for you, and just found your heart,” said the elder woman. “Mother, this was for father, this was for the land, this was for all of us. But especially for sister.”
And she turned the knife of her sister’s bones three times and dropped it, and nobody ever came to that place anymore.


Storytime: Worth its Weight.

November 19th, 2014

It’s hard to see out here, Afar. Stupid place is half-fog and half-mad, no telling where you’re putting your foot’ll stay that way; no lights to pierce the gloom for fear of getting a Wyrm’s eye on you; no steel or iron to hack through the undergrowth, to anchor your ropes, to cook your meals in.
I shouldn’t have come here. Should’ve stayed back home. Hell, should’ve even gone to the Sill. I heard it’s safer these days, heard they got round to regulating, to building. Jarreth said they’ve even done something about the sounds in your head, but half of Jarreth’s news comes from the voices in his head, so who’s to listen to him anyways?
I’ve got to stay calm.

There were six of us: me, Jarreth, old Hallus and young Hallus, Brisny, and Mallet – and Mallet’s mallet, for all that he treats the big clunky thing like a pet. Out for the far hills, past the swamps. “Prospectors,” it said on our papers. Prospectors for what, well, who knows? No iron. The rocks are all wrong, strange. The plants are half a mystery, besides the ones that explode when you touch steel to their stems. The wildlife… well. The wildlife is best left to Her Worship’s voyageurs and the army. They tell us it’s our own hides. But our hides are cheap and there’s riches out there. Even collector’s-tat will go for more than you can imagine right now. A little piece of Afar, right there above your giant collection of Terramac gadgets that you don’t know how to use and your Sfoll sub-horns that you’re afraid to touch and your Salamettic scrolls you can’t read because they’re invisible to people without four eyes and twelve senses.
We went farther than we’d planned. Up a hill and down a hill and we should’ve known better than to let Mallet handle the trail blazings because when we came down the hill it was the wrong hill and who knew where the right one was. We went back and then forwards and a little bit of side to side and then we were above the fog for the first time in six miserable months, looking down so far you could see the sea. Closer than we’d guessed; Afar seems to stretch itself under your boots, make you fight for every step. You could still see Threshold. Young Hallus said he thought he could see the Wyrms moving in the mires, places where the fog thickened and clotted, but he’s a liar as bad as Jarreth with twice the ego, so I didn’t listen.
We walked a while. Up, mostly. And then as we sit down to camp and take our breath back from the thieving high air, Mallet sets his stupid ass down on a bush with prickles – no, blades. Hopping, yelping idiot fell over while we were laughing at him, nearly brains himself on a rock, gets up to throw it at us, stops, stares. Doesn’t move.
Brisny prospected forty years back in Gelmorre, finding fortunes and losing them again in the same month. He knows rocks better than old Hallus knows whores, food, and whores and food. He knows what cragstone looks like. He said he’d never seen it this pure. And he’d certainly never seen it like this.
They looked like knots. Little dense spots. Small enough to fit in your palm, weighed near as much as a bar of lead.
Worth its weight in pure gold, he said. Worth its weight in gold. Share and a half for me, share for the rest of you, we all can go home and buy estates on the cheap.
I’ve got to take this.

Young Hallus and Mallet bitched – Mallet especially, said since he’d found it he’d be damned if he had to carry it – but they gave in. They knew they had the strongest backs. So they shouldered it up and hauled it on and we started back down. This time we had Jarreth marking trails, leaving scrapes and cairns and scratches. He kept doubling back to chatter and yack and he was really pissing off old Hallus (never make the cook angry, damnit) but what could you do, huh? He was the best guide we had, although maybe no guide would’ve been better. I swear he led us in circles at least twice, intentional or not.
So we walked under threat of storm and constant chatter, and we walked until both of them broke overhead, and then we walked and walked and walked until we ran out of world to walk on.
A deep valley. We hadn’t come through here, but as the crow flies, it was our fastest way out. And with lightning turning peaks into powder overhead, it was a good prospect.
It took us hours to find a sheltered spot; it would’ve been easy if any of us five knew anything about caves. Crawling around like beetles on a brick wall with rain trying to wash you down into the gutter.
No fog, though. A small relief. Old Hallus said aside from all the rain this’s the clearest line of vision he’s had since he got here three years ago. Keeps flinching at the horizon.
I’ve got to keep calm.

It was an easy walk in the morning, all the wet cooked off by the pale sun in the grey sky. Quiet, too – not the deep dead quiet in the swamps that old Hallus says you can tell the Wyrms by, but a soft touch on your ear. Nothing but the wind, a grunt, a curse, clattering stone. You can see forever down this place; it’s a short trip out and then a quick hike through the hills and we’re almost at the coastline. Easy. Easy.
Ran into trouble at midday though. Mallet got spooked and started screaming like a damned fool, babbled like a baby out of milk for ten minutes before he made sense.
Wings, he said. Wings in the sky. It’s right there, right above us. Can’t you see it? Can’t you see it?
We’ve got to run for it, and it’s too heavy. Drop it and run! Run! Run!
Words, words, and none of them much use. We reminded him of the earldoms four shares could buy and he just shook his head and wouldn’t stop, like there was a little motor in his neck. His hands shook too. Reminded me of a dog my father kept. One boot to the head too many. We lost half the day trying to argue the idiot down, and by its end we were no closer than we were when we started – only barely stopped him trying to bolt before old Hallus could get to cooking dinner.
I’ve got to get moving.

The pack weighed a ton and a half, but nobody ever said a barony was a light thing. Bounced nasty too; every footfall found a new shape for rock to take, and all of them were slippery. If I get out of this, the first thing my share goes towards is fixing my back. I don’t want to retire young and crippled.
Old Hallus was wary now. His eyes kept flitting about. His jaw was set tight. He kept adjusting his shoulder straps every two minutes. He never looked up. He didn’t want to talk about it.
We were right in the heart of the valley now. What we’d thought were plants were rocky spires, like stalagmites left caveless. Most of them didn’t even reach my knees. But that wasn’t the big news.
Cragstone. All of them. And all of it speckled with the same pure deposits we were carrying.
We camped in the center of the valley that night after a long time spent arguing over maps. Me and young Hallus were all for staying to chart the place out – who knows if we’ll find it again by chance? But now old Hallus is up for leaving. The air’s too thin to be healthy, he said, and there’s something in it that he can’t put words to that’s worse still. There’s enough money to be made here to buy Gelmorre. Split three ways, sure, but still. How can the old coot want to bail now? We’re in this together, we stay in on it together. If we split now someone’ll blab out of spite or stupidity and word will get out faster than a blast from the Terramac.
I’ve got to hold this together.

The worst breakfast I’d ever had, but it matched the day fine. Still grey, still cold. The maps were a pain to do with only one set of legs to help me, but young Hallus was pretty spry, even with the pack on. He was getting to worry me, though. Those looks… not the nervous twitches, not those. The sidelong glances whenever he thought I was busy writing. The constant fidgeting – worse than his usual. I saw him touching the big wooden mallet at his belt three times, and the last I think he knew I was looking. He might not know how to use it, but it’s a hell of a club, fire-hardened.
How were we still here? We left at noon. We walked fast, even weighted down. The exit’s down there, I could see it. But this place…stretched. It must’ve been my eyes. They weren’t used to this wide-open-view anymore. I misguessed.
Damn, who’d have ever thought I’d miss the swamps?
Night was coming in. We were still in the valley. We were still halfway there.
That grey sky is getting on my nerves.
I’ve got to be quicker.

It was a hard blow, leaving half a fortune behind. But I was still rich enough to wed Her Worship if I’d felt inclined, and with enough left over to bribe half the country to come to the ceremony.
More walking. More trudging. More back-bruising. Nothing new there.
What was new was that tickle. That little twitch you get in your brain through your shoulders, the thing that whispers to you: you’re being watched.
There was nothing here to watch me. I could see farther than anything. Miles around me.
Miles to go to the valley’s end when I started. Miles to go when I stopped to sleep. I found my bed in a broken shell of one of the spires; they seem to be hollow. Some sort of residue caked its insides. Dried, but looks like it was sticky, once upon a time. Oil? More wealth. Maybe I could buy Matagan too. Maybe I could buy the whole world.
I’ve got to get back.

This isn’t right.
I’m back at the stones. The first stones. I woke up and I took a step and I almost planted my foot in my own firepit.
I’m not going in circles. I’m not going in circles. I’m not going in circles. Something is wrong, but that’s not it. Something is wrong.
Where is it? I can see so far, there’s nothing in my way from here until the end of the valley. The end of the valley that’s always halfway away because I’m being moved.
What’s moving me?
I’m staying up tonight. No watches because what could sneak up on us, but now I’m staying up. I need to see.
I’ve got to see.

A spire broke in the night. Quiet, very quiet, but it broke. There was a thing inside it with too much wing and too little body and no eyes. It had heavy claws like a mole’s and a little mouth, and it screamed when it saw me and didn’t stop until I crushed it between my boot and the stones.
I flipped it over. Its belly was grey.
I’ve got to leave.

Grey sky overhead. How many of them are there? I can’t tell.
So many spires. How many to lay that many? I can’t tell.
How big do they get? I can’t tell.
It’s hard to see out here.

I shouldn’t have come here.