Storytime: Heartwarming Yet Funny, 2.5/5 Stars.

August 28th, 2019

When Molly was four, one of her friends made a serious and heartfelt promise to marry her when they were grown-ups.
At the time she had no reason to think of getting six of those conversations in one week as anything but normal. In retrospect? That had been the early warning signs.

*

Elementary school brought new challenges, along with the first inklings that something seemed out of place. Half the class took it in turns to endlessly pester her while loudly announcing that they thought she was GROSS. Every Valentine ’s Day her locker overflowed with adorably sincere yet hopelessly embarrassing hand-crafted gifts.
Molly was allergic to chocolate. Her little sister loved her for it.
But oh, that was just the first little trickles. High school began, and the dam didn’t burst – it EXPLODED.

*

“Listen, Molly, there’s something I gotta- oof!”
“Molly! I need to tell you- OW”
“Molly! Where are you?!”
She was inside her locker, hyperventilating. She came out twenty minutes after the principal had hosed down the mob with a fire extinguisher, and snuck home that evening under cover of darkness, moving from shrub to shrub like a criminal chipmunk.
By her second year, Molly had felt out some basic rules for herself.
She couldn’t be too popular, or she’d be beset by swarms of suspiciously good-looking nerds, geeks, outcasts, and rejects.
She couldn’t be too unpopular, or she’d spend her days running and hiding from the most popular kids in school.
She couldn’t be too normal, average, or ordinary, or the school’s jocks, star students, and elites would make every excuse in the world to spend their time following her around, offering advice, and furiously trying not to stare at her.
In the end she found a nearly-perfect balance of being almost-but-not-quite ordinary but in a very boring way that wasn’t particularly quirky. Not liking ketchup on her hot dogs, for example, was safe. Enjoying peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? Too peculiar. Playing the trombone? Fine. Playing the tuba? Unsafe. Pet gecko? Doable. Pet spider? Too far.
By the end of her senior year the weekly lineup of boomboxes outside Molly’s window had shrunk down to three-to-four holdouts, all of them long-lost childhood friends she’d been secretly expecting to show up for years now, and she felt pretty proud about managing to attend prom without a date. Even prouder when she left without being detected by her thirty-six sighing, wistful, dateless best-friends-but-more that surrounded each exit.
If she’d known what was ahead of her… well.
Well, everyone said that.
But boy did she mean it.

*

“Your credentials are impressive.”
Molly smiled in what was the world’s most carefully neutral way.
“Yes, I think we can work with this. We can talk to Dr. Gordon and get back to you by the end of the week.”
Molly’s eyebrow twitched. “I’m sorry?”
“What is it?”
“I was under the impression that Dr. LaFontaine was in charge of this lab.”
“Oh, his heart got to him. Retired just last month. But Dr. Gordon was practically running the place before – such a bright young man. You’ve heard of him before?”
“Elementary school,” she said, blankly.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing. Don’t call me I’ll call you.”
“What are you-”
Molly tucked and rolled through the window in an expert dive, then brachiated home through the hedges like an arboreal shark.

*

“Secretarial work seems a little below the quality of this resume.”
Molly nodded.
“But then again, Mr. Stevens has high standards.”
Molly nodded.
“You start Monday.”
Molly nodded.
“Be early.”
Molly nodded.
“And try to ignore his…eccentricities.”
Molly nodded, then squinted suspiciously. “I’m sorry?”
“Mr. Stevens has particular qualities, and –”
The office door opened a crack and a ridiculously handsome and mildly dishevelled man stuck his head around the corner. “Tim? Where’s my vodka cart, my meds, and my quantum electronics handbook?”
“Coming right up, Mr. Stevens. I’m sorry miss, but I’ll be right…huh.”
“Who are you talking to, Tim, and why aren’t they ME? I’ve got some outlandish personality defects that need to be ceaselessly catered to in order for me to be minimally socially acceptable!”
“She was right here a second ago.”

*

“This is the fry cooker put the fries in the basket and pull them out when this goes ding.”
“Wonderful.”
“This is the ice cream maker it’s always broken so don’t ask how it works.”
“Great.”
“This is the patty grill just leave them here all day and put them on a bun. Use this flowchart.”
“Amazing.”
“First customer, go for it.”
A stretched limousine screeched to a halt in front of the restaurant, sixteen security guards, professional selfiers, and a wine-taster poured inside, and from amidst the chaos emerged an internationally known pop star.
“I’ll have the…” he began, and then his perfect face froze in a very familiar expression.
Molly sighed, swallowed, then threw the fries in his face and escaped out the drive-in window in a hail of bullets.

*

The monitor went ‘beep.’
Sometimes it hesitated.
Molly was tired of waiting for that little halt. She was ready to listen to anything else, or nothing else. Whichever came faster.
“…and I admire you so much for it,” finished up George.
She sighed. “How long we known each other?” she asked.
“Since you came to the home. So, ten years.”
“How long you felt like this?”
“Ten years.”
Molly coughed and gave up halfway through.
“Molly?”
Arms quivering with the weight of years and tubes and fluids, Molly reached up, took George’s hand, and yanked him into a Glasgow Handshake that exploded his nose like a bushel of overripe strawberries.
“I WIN, MOTHERFUCKER,” she cackled, and then she died.

The burial was logistically complex. In the end her nieces gave up, put two shovelfuls of dirt atop the writhing mound of sobbing funeral-crashers, and went home.


Storytime: Bit.

August 21st, 2019

It had been going so very well for all of them just five minutes ago.
There had been a half-open window. Terrible shame that; not even necessary in this heat. The Older had tut-tutted at it very firmly as the rust ate into its extremities and peeled it off like a grapeskin.
There had been a security door. It had been very fine and very expensive and incredibly modern and it had fallen apart like soft butter under the ancient and tender serrations of the Sleek Shark, its barcodes and binaries and PINs shearing off and away.
There had been a guy at a desk who’d said ‘password?’ and that was where the problem had started because Jimmy had said ‘uuhhhhh’ and no password in the world had ever started like that and they both knew it.

So now Jimmy was hiding in a bathroom being shot at. Again.
“Wish you guys had helped me out,” he said, and convinced himself he’d definitely been trying and failing to keep the resentment out of his voice.
No he hadn’t, the Mind All Light told him.
“Where were YOU?”
Right there. He’d just decided to say ‘uuhhhhh’ instead of asking it.
“Fine,” said Jimmy. He wasn’t sulking.
He was sulking, the Mind All Light told him.
“Am not!”
Was too.
“Am not!”
Duck, suggested the Older.
Jimmy ducked and the top of the bathroom stall sheared off and banged him on the head.
“Shit,” he considered. “Shit, shit, aw shit, shit shit shit.”
So he gave up and listened to the Completely Invincible Lizard.

Four floors later Jimmy kicked down a door shot five security manglers and placed a perfectly flawless thrown ball-point pen directly through the eye of a man in an impossibly expensive suit.
Then he sat down at the desk and threw up for a minute. Stitches.
When he was done he took the very small and expensive computer out of the pen-eye man’s pocket and slipped it in front of the Sleek Shark, which vanished into it without a ripple.
No traces. No records. As if he’d never been there.
Well, besides all the blood and everything. That’d be a giveaway.
It was times like this Jimmy wished he was still a janitor. There’d be nothing but quiet cleaning for days now. Very soothing.
Found another, whispered the Sleek Shark directly behind him.
Jimmy threw up again, almost but not quite masking the sound of tramping feet. Weapons were clicking to themselves, lungs were bursting with purpose.
“Awwwwww nuts,” said Jimmy. And he reached out to the Completely Invincible Lizard again.

***

Jimmy had spent very nearly twenty years on a derelict space station, keeping it running with polish and spit and elbow grease. He could clean anything. Anything.
Still, getting the blood off that stubborn little spot between his shoulder blades was extremely obnoxious.
Don’t bother, said the Completely Invincible Lizard.
“Pardon?” asked Jimmy.
No one said anything.
Well. He didn’t know what that was about. I mean, they had another name, another chance, another link in the long chain of folks that had decided to put people out in the middle of who-knows-where dark space to give them who-knows-who in their heads so they could be used for goodness-gracious-knows-what purposes.
And this time it would be perfectly quiet and safe and fine.

***

When he woke up he was in the middle of a firefight with sixteen other humans in a lobby the size of a baseball stadium, all of whom were larger than him, had bigger guns, and were huddling behind various makeshift barricades and screaming at each other over inbuilt comms. The Sleek Shark was porpoising through their electronic voices, turning them into helpless ripples and splashes.
“Aw dang,” said Jimmy.
Go away, said the Completely Invincible Lizard.

When Jimmy woke up for the second time that day he was standing in a different office, one that looked to have a bit of doomsday bunker in its genetics. There were office chairs, but they were bolted to the floor and had little deployable blast shielding covers.
The woman in front of him had been just slightly too slow to deploy hers. Her head was safe and secure but someone had used some kind of heavy-duty thermal weapon to incinerate everything below her neck.
“Gross,” said Jimmy. He dropped the heavy-duty thermal weapon he was holding and tried to throw up.
None of that, said the Completely Invincible Lizard.
“This is getting a little out of hand, you know?”
Look at the computer.
“You fried it if it was on her.”
In the table.
“Don’t wanna.”
This time Jimmy was awake for the entire firefight, and it was inside his head and he didn’t enjoy it one bit.
He had never seen the Completely Invincible Lizard up close before. He wasn’t seeing it now, but he was getting a very strong impression of teeth and sharpness and hardness and unflinching and uncaring determination.
Around them, uncaring, unceasing, spooled the Sleek Shark. It carried the names in its mouth and it shone very brightly with them. They brought out its smile.
You aren’t doing a very good job, said the Completely Invincible Lizard.
“But-”
And we don’t need to keep anything clean right now.
“Hey-”
So go away.
Jimmy went away.

***

Away was a peculiar place. It was dark and quiet and intangible and didn’t exist but Jimmy couldn’t see or hear or touch or exist either so that didn’t matter.
Things were happening out there. Animate, physical, material things. Murdering dodging sleeping (reluctantly) killing and so on.
It was almost soothing to watch until Jimmy remembered that was him. He’d had him taken away. That was uncalled for and unnatural.
It was very natural, said the Older, at his side. (It was the most brittle thing he’d ever imagined and it wouldn’t break). It is completely invincible. If it wanted to defeat you, it would. And it has.
But that’s not how it works, thought Jimmy. We work together.
Yes, and how often did that happen? You tend to ignore good advice. No wonder it got frustrated. Now it’s out there, and it’s doing what it does. And the Sleek Shark cuts its path, because it can never stop swimming and it doesn’t care who’s there as long as it can move.
Jimmy wondered how the Older felt about this.
Very similarly to him, as it turned out. They both knew about dirt. They both knew about waiting. They both knew about keeping things running. Although Jimmy was a little more laid back about those, and a lot of other things.
Two for two?
The Older suggested that starting a fight between them all might end poorly. Besides, their adversary was completely invincible.
You aren’t thinking, said the Mind All Light. It was warm and full and shining and it was remarkable because none of those things existed there, in away.
Jimmy wondered what he wasn’t thinking of.
It’s completely invincible. That’s in its name.
Yes.
Yes and?
Yes and what?
What ELSE is?

***

The Completely Invincible Lizard was not satisfied. It was incapable of it.
But it was something kissing-cousin-close to pleased.
Another emptied boardroom, another scourged databank, another cloud sucked out of the ether, and another target. And this one was in the same building, so it would have very little downtime needed.
Admittedly, the floors were sealed under standard doomsday protocols, but that was what hacking your way through the ventilation system was for. Also admittedly there were safeguards against that, but that was what the extremely large and destructive blade in its hand was for.
Not that the safeguards merited it. This entire shaft was dilapidated. Dusty and cobwebbed. Disused. Fousty. Cobwebbed. Dry. Cobwebbed.
Are there any spiders around? inquired Jimmy.
The Completely Invincible Lizard realized its mouth was slightly open and shook its head.
Looks like it to me. Big ones. Maybe some other stuff too if they’ve set up that many webs. Crickets?
The Completely Invincible Lizard found itself calculating the length of its tongue.
You’ve got to clean these things out regularly, or you end up with bugs everywhere, under every nook and
The Completely Invincible Lizard launched itself mouth-first at the cobweb, swallowed it and its (long-mummified) inhabitants whole, and lost itself in the wonderful sensation of mashed carapaces.
In that long, long pause, several careful things happened. A few people blinked and turned off and on again.
Then Jimmy opened his eyes and stretched and had hands and senses and the world again. “Everything’s sorted out!” he said triumphantly, as the top of the ventilation shaft opened up and someone dropped a grenade down at him.

The Sleek Shark handled that one.
The Older collaborated on the vents.
And the Mind All Light very carefully persuaded the somnolent and deeply full Completely Invincible Lizard that maybe if it could spare twenty seconds of its time to cross the lobby they could give it a break to digest and bask somewhere for a bit.

***

On the whole, although everyone personally agreed that they’d learned something, none of them were sure of the others.
But then again, isn’t that sort of skeptical and dubious love exactly what most families are made of?


Storytime: Bears.

August 14th, 2019

It’s rude to hammer on a stranger’s door like that, but the night was ruder still. Leering licks of rain on my cheeks, salacious lashes of wind against my stomach…nothing but damp, eager grossness for miles and miles around.
I doubled my rudeness and was rewarded with footsteps. Slow, stolid footsteps, unhurried but unhesitant. So I wasn’t surprised at all when my host opened the door and was revealed to be extremely fat.
I was a little surprised that it was a bear.
“Hello, hello, hello,” intoned the bear. “Who’s that knocking on our door?”
“Me,” I said. “I mean, me, Melanie. Sorry to bother you, but it’s miserable out and if I could just duck inside for a minute, I’d really appreciate it.”
“Why not?” said the bear. “Bad weather makes for good neighbours. Come in, come in!” There was a tie around its neck which bobbled in a disconcerting way whenever it spoke, and its mouth held an impressively tiny little pipe.
I maybe should’ve found it odder, that a bear spoke, but it didn’t seem shocked by it so neither was I. Clearly this was all intentional.
So I went into the house, which smelled of fur and soap.

Inside the house were two more bears, seated around a little round table. The smallest was a little shorter than me but – in the way of bears – probably double my weight at least. The middle bear was wearing an apron, and was trying to pick up a spoon with no thumbs.
“This is Mother and Baby, and I’m Father,” explained my host. “As you can see, we were just sitting down to dinner. Want some? It’s porridge. Good, nourishing, plain porridge. No sugar, no milk, no h-word –”
“Honey?”
There was a bang. Baby had jumped and knocked over their chair.
“In this house,” said Father carefully, “we don’t use the h-word. It’s good manners.”
“Sorry.”
“It brings up decadent, degenerate thoughts,” said Father a little louder than was strictly necessary, even against the background clang and rattle of Mother’s ongoing efforts to seize her spoon.
“My mistake.”
“Hideous, crawling, STICKY thoughts, that trickle and…”
“Humble apologies.”
Father shuddered like a man dropped in an ice bucket. “Anyways! Please have some.”
“But there’s only three bowls,” I said. “I can’t take your family’s food.”
“No, no, please, I insist. Mother needs to watch her weight – she’s in real danger of getting hefty. And as for Baby, well…”
I looked a little closer at Baby. There was a muzzle fitted over their snout, hiding most of their face except for the little dark eyes. They seemed worried.
“We’re just having a Time Out to teach everyone to respect their elders,” said Father. “Might have to dole out a spanking later. Spare the rod or spoil the child. It’ll hurt me more than anyone else, really. Here’s your porridge.”
It was a big spoonful. I took a little bite. My tongue split the difference and was merely sort of burned.
“Aagh.”
“Oh dear. Perhaps my porridge is a little much for you. Mother, give our guest some of your porridge.”
Mother dropped her spoon again, and this time it skittered under the stove. Father tsk-tsked soundly, plucked up his own spoon – which seemed to be a repurposed shovel – and gave me some of her porridge.
It was cold. It was lumpy. Actually, it was lumps, verging on lump. If this porridge had ever felt the heat of flame, it’d forgotten about it and then some.
“Eegh.”
“Goodness. Perhaps not. Baby, would you mind letting this nice young lady have some of your porridge?”
Baby said something. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell, with the muzzle. Father sighed, chewed his pipe, stood up, and smacked Baby on the side of the head, sending the cub caroming ass over teakettle into the stove. Squealing.
“Baby, you know very well that children should be seen and not heard,” said Father. “Sharing is caring. Now get in your chair again – and for pity’s sake, sit up straighter.”
Baby’s porridge was soothingly warm, well-stirred, and smooth as butter. I wasn’t very hungry.

After dinner we retired to the living room. It was unpainted, although someone appeared to have dabbed pawprints along the east wall before giving up entirely. In attendance were a couch that looked fresh from the dump, a rocking chair that looked more likely to roll over on you, and a discarded beanbag.
“I must apologize for the state of the house,” said Father. “We’ve only recently settled in, you see, and my wife has been somewhat lax in putting our affairs in order. Making a house a home, you know.” He sprawled himself expansively on the couch, felt around in the cushions, and produced a tattered newspaper. “Sit, sit.”
Baby sat down on the beanbag, and Father ground his teeth against his pipestem, sat up, and flicked Baby on the ear. “Not until the lady’s seated,” he said.
I looked at the couch and saw that most of it was Father by volume; I looked at the rocking chair and saw an interesting obituary; I looked at the beanbag and saw a thriving, nourishing habitat for small things with six legs.
I also saw Mother, standing against the wall. She was chewing her paws, and at my stare she flinched and whipped them behind her back.
“Sit, sit, sit,” said Father, rolling his pipe around his lips like it was toffee-coated.
“Oh, I can’t take Mother’s seat,” I said.
“Nonsense. She’s been a silly flittergibbit – cooked the porridge all wrong, didn’t paint the living room properly, hasn’t said a word to our guest, spoke out of turn to me over breakfast, all that sort of nonsense, etcetera, etcetera,” said Father. He hummed thoughtfully through his pipe. “Really, it’s a wonder I put up with her. Now take a seat. It’s only polite. A watched pot never boils.”
I sat down in the beanbag chair, doubtlessly extinguishing thousands of tiny skittering lives under my backside. Father grunted in satisfaction, riffled through his newspaper, and proceeded to read it upside down, held high to catch the last of the evening light through the murky clouds.
I stared at it, and things made a lot more sense.
“Well,” I said. “It’s been very nice of you to put up with me, but I should be going now.”
“Oh, no, no, no, no,” said Father. “It’s still raining out there. Can’t put you out in the rain, it wouldn’t be Christian of us. Better stay in.”
“But –”
“No buts,” said Father. He looked at Mother and Baby, still standing against the wall. “No buts,” he repeated. “No buts. No. None.”
“If it’s not too much trouble, I suppose I can stay on your sofa…”
“Sofa? Lord, no! You’ll get a bed, and be happy with it.”
Mother raised her head.
Father’s pipe dipped meaningfully and she looked away again, out the window, to the rain.

Father’s bed was an enormous, beaten-up old thing that looked to have been used to smuggle at least three bodies, one of which had left scraps caught in the exposed springs.
Mother’s bed was a tangle of old spruce boughs and pine needles, dumped into an empty wooden frame that was somewhere between IKEA and archaeology.
Baby’s bed was the beanbag from the living room, dragged into the familial bedchamber and covered with a generous tea-towel.
“I really shouldn’t,” I said.
“You really should,” said Father.
I started to say something that’d start with “but,” and then I saw Father’s pipe shifting around again.
Baby tried to crawl in with Mother, but Father raised his paw and his voice and Baby was exiled to the corner of the bedroom, where they formed a sort of fuzzy ball with no external features. Or targets.
I adjusted the horrible tea-towel and waited for the snores to start.
Soft little whimpers, kept low for fear. That was Baby.
Uneven, jagged inhalations, somewhere between a pant and a whisper. That had to be Mother.
And then the deep, confident rumbling nasal-festival began, and that could only be Father. Nothing else matched it.
Ten minutes. Five was what I wanted, but ten was what I needed. Enough to make good and sure they were asleep.
Nine-min-utes-and-FIFTY. Nine-min-utes-and-FIFTYFIVE. And-now-it’s-TEN.
I breathed in, I breathed out, I tensed and I heard Father stop snoring.
He got up. Quietly, I’ll give him that. Quiet for his size. It was amazing how much smaller the room seemed once he was on his feet; it was as if his snores had forced the walls back and now they’d fallen in, leaving this cramped little cavity, full of fur.
Then he moved. He moved past the dead leaves of Mother’s bed, warding his big feet against the dry crunches. He moved past the little trembling lump of Baby’s corner.
He moved to my feet, sticking out under the tea-towel, out from over the edge of Baby’s beanbag. And he stopped.
It was amazing how loud his breathing was, this close. Louder than his snoring ever had been.
I hadn’t untensed. Had he noticed?
But he leaned down, and I knew he hadn’t. Not to be moving this slowly, this carefully. He could see better than I could in the dark – especially with my eyes squinched near-shut – but he wasn’t looking carefully enough. Why should he be? He was in his house, which was his castle. Impregnable. Unconquerable. The ringmaster of his own domain.
He’d gone to bed with his pipe. It was still there, dangling from the corner of his mouth.
“Shh,” he whispered. The pipe wiggled and hummed, and an idea that had been bubbling up inside me finally boiled.
I snatched it. Left-handed, which nobody ever quite expects. And I was in a hurry, and I was frightened, and I snatched a bit hard and fast, and that’s why it snapped apart in my hand – that and the fact that it was just thin lacquered wood, over a frail tin whistle.
Father reared up with a snort that was more of a swallowed shout – it moved enough air to give me a new hairstyle (and a few grey hairs) and sprayed me with a good glass-full of moisture. The ceiling crunched against his skull and gave way; plaster sprinkled over us and gave him a powdering a judge’s wig would envy. Big dark eyes in a fat pale face, and they weren’t friendly, and his arms were up now, and his claws were out, and who knows what could’ve happened because it didn’t because someone else did first.

“Someone’s been sniffing round my den.”
The voice was thick, rough, unpracticed, and moist – with harsh mucus, with trickling anger. It was a voice you could find carved into an old limestone cave.
And it wasn’t Father’s.
He flinched. Just a little, but impossible to hide on a body that size. I saw his lips curl – not in a snarl, not quite: they were reaching for his missing pipe.
“Mother, go back to your –”
“Someone’s been sniffing round my den,” said Mother. She didn’t interrupt Father, he practically did that himself. There was a wheedling, plaintive edge at the end of his every word, like a mosquito.
He tried one last time. And I’m no expert – on bears, on people, on families – but there is something I’m pretty sure of: he shouldn’t have started his last chance the way he did.
“But-”
“Someone’s been SNIFFING round MY den,” said Mother. “And he will GET. OUT. NOW.”
Father reared back, and whether it was to raise a paw or turn away I’m not sure because Mother moved faster. She hit him hard, she hit him fast, and he spun round and his ear went out one window and he went out the other. By the time he hit the ground his legs were running, and by the time the rest of him had caught up and got started she was after him, and accelerating.

I sat there for a good minute – not a measured minute, a good one. Then I got up, undid Baby’s muzzle, and got out of the way before they bowled me over, chasing Mother.
They were all gone, all three of them, and I didn’t feel like they were coming back.
But you’d better be sure I didn’t walk out of that house. I flew so hard and fast that I didn’t know until I got home that I’d brought the broken whistle with me, clutched in my left hand.
A whistle in my left hand and a headline in my head, stolen from an upside-down, claw-torn newspaper.
TR IN D B ARS ESCAPE CI CUS
ST LL MIS ING


Storytime: Clocks.

August 7th, 2019

Things have become very difficult since I replaced every single thing with clocks.

I was warned about this. Other people said I might want walls, or a ceiling, or books, or a calendar, or maybe food.
But I pointed out that all those things were basically clocks already, just single-minded ones. Time to repair; time to reread; time to go places; time before expiry, and so on.
Why not stop pretending?

So I replaced the walls and the ceiling and the books and the calendar and the food and everything else. I replaced every single thing. With clocks.
Now when I want to know if I should go outside, I look at a clock for that. When I want to know what I should think, I look at a clock for that. When I want to know if I need to check my clocks, I can look at a clock for that.
It’s very effective. I don’t think I’ve done anything in forever.

The trouble was other people’s fault. They weren’t clocks, you see. I would see them when I went outside and they would tick onwards in a very messy and uncoordinated way. You could not set their clocks by them.
I tried to explain about clocks for a while but they didn’t seem to get it. Eventually I would have to go home, to my clocks, where it made more sense because every six hours I would look at one clock, and every sixteen hours I would look at another clock, and every three days I would look at a third, and so on and so forth. And that made things make sense.
It wasn’t exactly perfect, but it made sense. That’s better than average for anyone, right? I really didn’t feel like I had grounds to complain.
So I added a few more clocks, because some of the old ones had stopped working and there was space, and a few other clocks, because there wasn’t THAT much cramping, and a few more clocks because I liked the look of them.

By this point it was a little hard to sleep soundly with all the ticking. Even the digital clocks do that, just not aloud. It’s hard to rest comfortably when time’s passing in about six hundred different ways along seven thousand different roads.
Especially with the alarms going off too. I used those only for the very important clocks, but since every clock was going to be important in its own way at least once those added up quickly.
The real problem wasn’t the alarms though. It was the older clocks, the ones that didn’t tick anymore.
By my count every third clock I knew of was finished, completed, and done. But I couldn’t just throw out a clock like that, so I kept them around as reminders, stopped on the moment they finished.
The space constraints were troublesome to deal with, but doable. The lack of ticking, though; that started to be a little much. That was so much more tricky to keep track of than the ticking; a ticking clock you can keep an eye on in your sleep, but a stopped clock needs to be checked constantly, every time, all the time, or else you forget how old it is.
I started to keep extra clocks for my stopped clocks. This problem got worse, especially when I started bringing home clocks that had already stopped. Some of them were loved and cherished clocks, some of them were brand-spanking new clocks, some of them were deeply irrelevant clocks mass produced on a conveyer belt somewhere and slapped on a six year old’s wrist for fifty cents forty years ago.
But I needed to keep clocks on them. It was important.

I’m not entirely sure exactly when things went out of hand, but I’m very sure of when I noticed it.
I was walking along somewhere, someday, with my mind on clocks, and I thought of how troublesomely odd it was that nobody else seemed to do this. I looked at all those people and thought about how they didn’t think about clocks.
Then I paid a little more attention and I saw my problem: everyone else was also clocks. They got larger and hairier or smaller and wrinklier and they wouldn’t stop doing it right in front of me. It was compulsive, and it was unavoidable, and it was most disconcerting. Worse yet, each action in their day was also a separate and integrated clock, starting up in the present and counting backwards as we moved forwards together. They weren’t just clocks, they were clockmakers. Profligate ones.
I asked some folks about this and they seemed to consider it normal. This was troubling, and suggested that I needed a lot more clocks at home or else I’d never be able to keep track of every single one as they interacted with every single thing, and clocks for those interactions too as they grew older and stopped, and clocks to track the stopped clocks, and clocks to track the time of the clocks that timed the clocks that had stopped. It seemed unfair for the world to work this way, and it seemed still more unfair that I had to do this all the time. I was very tired of this. I was very tired of paying attention to my clocks.

Then about a half second later (precisely) I paid a little more attention, just a little more than a little more and then a little more than that, and I realized I’d been overpaying all my clocks for years and years and months and weeks and days and hours and however long they’d been doing it.
I had slowly and entirely and inadvertently replaced my attention with clocks. It was very upsetting. It IS very upsetting.
I would like to correct this, but I seem to have also replaced my intentions with clocks. I don’t enjoy doing this, but all I seem to want to do is count backwards and forwards in a very precise and careful pattern.
I’m not sure what I’m counting now. But I’d better not stop.

I think.


Storytime: Records of Morton Memorial Hospital.

July 31st, 2019

Patient history
The Mad Master
Age: 42
Height: 5’10
Weight: 200 lbs
-Patient applied for treatment by kidnapping entire staff of hospital and putting them through his ‘trial of medicalamity’ to ensure only the wiliest would treat him.
*Patient was reached by Dr. Brussel, who cunningly removed his monitor collar with the aid of Nurse Braxley and then ambushed the droid sent to collect her ‘deceased’ body, using its armaments to blast a hole in the wall.
*Patient was waylaid and then diagnosed with appendicitis and compulsive villainous megalomania (CVM). Appendicitis operation was conducted ad hoc on site by Dr. Brussel and Nurse Braxley; CVM went untreated as patient was rescued immediately following surgery by his elite mandroids.

-Patient arrived with toothache. Upon being provided with the names and addresses of several local dentists, patient attempted to transmit entire hospital to the darkforce dimension for daring to defy his manifest will.
*Patient was subdued by Nurse Braxley, who heroically threw himself on top of the darkforce device and absorbed its energies into his own frame, catapulting them both into an apparently irreversible and sympatric coma.
*Patients are now in the long-term care ward, awaiting consultation by Mr. Mystical pending his return from the Otherlands.

Patient history
Fyrness the Scorched
Age: 11,290 yrs
Height (length): 178 ft.
Weight: n/a (broke scale)
-Patient applied for treatment for stiffness, aches.
*Source was found to be ‘wealth hemorrhoids.’
*Patient’s hoard was reshuffled so that the upper layers were exclusively small objects such as coins and the larger bulk goods and sharp objects were safely covered.

-Patient complained of recurring nightmares of tiny, defiant heroes wielding unspeakably sharp blades.
*CBT was suggested as the solution, but patient declined care as ‘feeble.’
*Nyqil was prescribed at 2 gallons/night. Patient claimed relief from all symptoms.

-Patient came into emergency clinic at 3 AM in a panic about their sore throat due to it being the source of their livelihood. Ensuring histrionics posed public threat due to magnitude of patient’s physique.
*Diagnosis: basic cold compounded by a severe panic attack. Allowed the patient a surface to recline and calm down on (hospital roof); provided 4 pounds fluoxetine and gave prescription for a followup half ton for future recurrences.

Patient history
Murderface
Age: 36
Height: 6’11
Weight: 300 lbs
-Patient suffered grave difficulties during sign-in due to being mute, illiterate, fluent in no forms of sign language, and encased inside an unreadable iron mask. Chief form of communication was through expressive machete flourishes and meaningful head-tilts.
*Patient’s arm hurt. Diagnosis was acute tendonitis due to excessive machete use.
*Patient was given a bracer and instructed to hack left-handed for the meantime, and to strongly consider a less strenuous livelihood.

-Patient was struck by vehicle on Highway 12. Paramedics found him deceased at the scene.
*Six minutes after being placed in the hospital morgue patient clawed his way out of the room using his bare hands and embarked upon a deeply disoriented rampage, apparently fueled by deep-seated animosity towards the co-patient who struck him with her car, who was being treated in ward 12 for a fractured wrist as a result of the collision.
*Patient was unrestrainable and unreasonable until Dr. Brussels raided his belongings from the morgue, which included a tiny music box. Playing it repeatedly calmed the patient until it broke, at which point the patient’s co-patient was forced to shove him off the hospital roof. Patient has not been seen since, but is presumed healthy.

Patient history
‘Big Shot’ ‘Danny’ ‘Allthumbs’
Age: ‘just a kid’
Height: ‘big shot’
Weight: ‘big shot’
-’Patient’ was admitted into intensive care due to pressure from a significant hospital donor, see?
*‘Patient’ wouldn’t stop hitting on the staff despite repeated censure, said he never could resist a pretty face.
*‘Patient’ vanished from his cot between the hours of 2 and 4 AM June 24th, during which time he was definitely not being dangled from his window by the Bigsby Bastard, the extremely nefarious masked adventurer that Dr. Brussels has nothing to do with and most certainly has never illicitly treated.
*‘Patient’ requested pen and ink at 5 AM June 24th, to write out his ‘memoirs’ which were more of a brief ‘confession’ of the ‘whacking’ of ‘Lemmy’ ‘Crowbar’ behind the ‘Big Cheese’ ‘Restaurant’ the previous week.
*‘Patient’ made a full recovery from various ‘bullet accidents’ but reentered treatment for mask-related PTSD the same week and CBT for ‘compulsive’ ‘quotation’ ‘use.’

Patient history
Mirg the Star-Sucker
Age: sixteen minutes
Height: one atom
Weight: n/a
-Patient was born destined to devour the sun and plunge the earth into darkness as foretold by the old tales, but suffered severe anxiety attack related to performance stress and admitted herself into professional care.
*Diagnoses: anxiety, depression, OCD, high-functioning autism. Some PTSD may also exist from seeing her mother defeated by the Warrior of Rain and Sun at the dawn of the last universe.
*Patient is currently on week 12 of an intensive therapy course conducted by Dr. Graxus. Medication pending full exploration of all permutations of the issues at work here.

Patient history
The Inevitability and Inescapable Reality of Death
Age: n/a
Height: n/a
Weight: infinite and inescapable
-Patient admitted itself upon the arrival of Tommy Witkins and his best friends, Gabby and Jimmy, to visit his dying grandfather.
*Patient was diagnosed with overwhelming depression and existential crises.
*Patient was treated with frank and earnest homilies about how to accept the inescapable, providing a wholesome lesson for all involved that they will bear with them even as their bodies grow old and tired and cease to function, their childhood dreams long left behind.
*Also prescribed some ritalin for Tommy, who definitely needs it if he wants to stop having that godawful series written about his hijinks.


Storytime: The Fly of the Lords.

July 24th, 2019

Once upon a time there was a wicked dictator.
Wait. That doesn’t narrow it down much.
Many, many times upon all the time there were many, many wicked dictators, and one of them was this guy.
This guy was extremely powerful and had many tools at his disposal. His army was mighty; his voice echoed forth from millions of screens across the world; and his personal polling agency was much respected.

Nonetheless, all tyrants have enemies – and it was such a cabal of those that met one evening, cloistered in an awkward conference call.
“We should kill him,” said one of them.
“No, that would be sinking to his level,” retorted another. “We should make calm and clear statements about his evilness and he’ll just stop or something.”
“We should do nothing, or else it might get worse,” concluded a third.
“I have a completely different plan from all of yours,” said a fourth, “and yet it incorporates elements from all! It will not sink to his level, AND we will not have to do anything.”
“What about my idea?” demanded the first one.
“Oh right, it’ll probably kill him.”
“Thank you.”
“There is one – just one – something we must do before we do nothing,” said the fourth conspirator. “We must break into the lair of the dictator and steal his feces.”
The ensuring silence was long, and at least two conspirators hung up without saying anything.
“…why?” inquired the second one.
“All will be made clear,” intoned the fourth conspirator.
Everyone else hung up.

Luckily in the end it was very easy to bribe a janitor to retrieve a sample the next time the dictator’s toilet clogged, and so the fourth conspirator was saved from having to stage an enormous and elaborate plan with many intricate action sequences and a lot of unnecessary deaths of security personnel.
She had what she needed. She had the feces, and she had a single egg from a single fly.
So she put one inside the other, in a small room, and walked away.
For the next while very little was required. Every so often the fourth conspirator would re-enter the room, moisturize and feed the little maggot, and leave it to its joy in its tiny fecal dwelling. In time it grew fat and happy and in more time it grew through its own skin and sprouted wings and hideous little compound eyes and became that noblest of god’s creatures, the thing named for wings: the fly.
It began doing what it was named for in delirious little circles, and that was when the fourth conspirator re-entered the room and caught it in a little net.
On the television, the podium was ready. It was time.

It was a good day for speeching. The dictator was waiting for the applause to die and practicing his gesticulations, smiling and bobbing his head like a renegade sandpiper.
“My fellow” or something.
“It’s an honour to” etcetera?
“What a great crowd, what a” maybe.
In the great crowd the fourth conspirator pulled out a tiny little box and opened it and silently, carefully, inconspicuously started to leave.
The fly was alone. It was deprived of food, of moisture. It was in a place it did not understand, in a world it had never known. In its small fly soul it was filled with a great and heartbreaking homesickness, when into its acute fly senses came a smell that seemed….almost familiar. It reminded it of home and also feces.
It wanted both of those things very much.
The applause ceased. The mic was hot. The throat was cleared.
“Hello the-ACK.”
The fly was on the nose. It spun in wondrous loops, singing a song of joy with its wings.
“HEY GET OUT OF THERE SHOO AUGH!”
It took off, it landed, it took off, it landed, it dodged and swerved and all the other fly tricks and it did them all without a moment’s thought needed, all of its fly soul filled with endless joy in its place.
It had found Home again.

Many conventional remedies, sadly, were out of the question. The tyrant could not be swatted; refused the idea of spray (‘not my hair!’), and drank any sugary water placed near him.
Alternate solutions had to be found.
“Fetch me my grand pollster!” he shouted.
“Bring forth the grand pollster!” shouted the head of security.
“Summon the grand pollster!” called the communications team.
“I’m here,” said the grand pollster, who had been standing in a corner of the room fiddling with his laptop.
“Pollster, remove this fly from my person,” said the dictator.
The grand pollster leaned carefully forwards until he was eye to eye with the fly (currently on the tyrant’s forearm) and blew gently on it.
It took off, then landed again six times.
“Damn,” said the grand pollster. “That used to work. Here, let’s try a statistical analysis. I’ll write the whole thing up in five minutes.”
“Great!”
“It’ll just take a few weeks to collate all the data.”
“Get my grand pollster out of here.”
“Eject the grand pollster!” yelled the head of security.
“Remove the grand pollster!” screamed the communications team.
“I’ll uh just go now uhm okay bye,” said the grand pollster, who hastily stowed his laptop in its bag and left at a fast walk.

Perhaps it would go away if he ignored it.
Not so. The fly wanted not his attention, just his presence. It basked in the warmth of his body, it breathed in the scent of his hair, it rhapsodized in the sound of his blood squirting through his veins. No love had ever been so unconditional; no joy so all-consuming. The fly had died, seen hell, and now was dwelling in a little piece of heaven. Mere time would not erode this affection.
But maybe something else would.
“Get me my media!” shouted the tyrant.
“Acquire the media!” hollered the head of security.
“Yeah sure here they come now!” replied the communications team at the top of their lungs.
The media came in as a roving pack, but less like wolves than a deck of cards. Each was trying to shuffle behind the last.
“We were present,” sources said.
“Good goin’,” said the tyrant. “Listen up! I’m denouncing this fly!”
“The fly was denounced by the leader,” sources said.
“It’s terrible! It’s garbage! It’s vile, infiltrating filth! It’s seditious! It’s treasonous! It’s unhygienic and unpatriotic and noisome and obnoxious and nothing but a big fat waste of time! Away with it!”
“The fly was denounced in the strongest terms,” sources said. “It was made a matter of top policy.”
The room fell silent. Except for the fly, which was orbiting the dictator again.
“FUCK OFF!” he shouted at it.
“Strong language was used, showing the deep emotions involved,” sources said. “Some claim it undignified; others say it shows the depths of passion the leader shows for our country. Who can say? You decide.”
“GET OVER HERE AND SWAT THIS THING!” he screamed.
“The meeting ended abruptly, although no specific schedule had been arranged,” sources said. “All present were escorted from the premises.”
“No! Wait! Come back!”
But there was no one there.
Except the fly, which loved him so.

After that there was really only one logical place to go.
“Fetch me my defense minister!” he yelled.
“Acquire the defense minister!” roared the head of security.
“Where the hell’s the defense minister!” hooted the communications team.
The defense minister was in the toilet, but was persuaded to come out.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Bomb this thing,” ordered the tyrant, gesturing at the fly. It was lying on his shoulder, deceptively passive yet perfectly ready to take off and land on his eyelid, where it would try to drink his sweat. Yet again.
“Could be hard, chief,” she said. “Could be hard. Don’t know if we’ve got ordinance for that.”
“Execute her!” he yelled.
“Can’t do that, she’s got popular support in the army!” shouted the head of security.
“Politically inadvisable if you want to maintain power!” hollered the communications team.
“Fine! CENSURE her!”
“Naughty!” shouted the head of security.
“Shame!” shouted the communications team.
“Aw,” said the minister of defense.
“Get me my chief of defense staff instead!”
“That’s also me,” said the minister of defense, who was chief of defense staff.
“Piss!”
“I was doing that, but you wanted something.”
“Eradicate this insect!”
“Gonna collateral damage your face there a bit. You fond of that shoulder, or would you prefer we wait for it to switch sides?”
“Threat to the leader’s life!” shouted the head of security.
“Take cover!” shouted the communications staff.
Bang, went many guns.
“Piiiisssssss,” whispered the minister of defense, who was chief of defense staff. And she was silent and pissed no more.
They all stood there together in a moment of awkward acknowledge and potentially-brewing coups.
“I’m going to go to bed,” said the tyrant.
“Find the be-!”
“Shaddup.”

After a long, sleepless night filled with only an erratic and inescapably whining set of wings, the dictator got up, looked himself in the mirror, pretended he hadn’t, and decided to put some hot water to good use. His entire body felt filthy and soiled, and inch by inch, scrub by scrub, he determined himself to deny that.
Shampoo. Bar of soap. Loofah thingy. Bottle of mysterious thing whose label had come off. All were old friends, all eased away all the godawful mess the week had turned into.
In time, in his exertions, in the shower he felt calm. Serene. The water flowed, and he flowed with it. If he closed his eyes he could almost pretend he couldn’t feel the slight tingling in his scalp that was the result of the fly standing directly in the center of his forehead.
“YOU!” he screamed in raw anguish, and with that he struck himself a mighty blow, slipped, bashed his head on the faucet, and drowned in less than half an inch of water.
The fly would’ve been heartbroken, but as it was buzzing in sorrowful circles above the dictator’s corpse a stray fleck of water struck it, gumming its wings and sucking it down that great metaphor of inevitability: the drain.

But the dictator was dead and so the land rejoiced, or at least those parts of it that hadn’t enjoyed the fruits of the tyrant’s reign, and thus the underlying faults of the society that had permitted, nay, even encouraged a dictatorial seizure of power went unaddressed and unanswered because they were a feature not a bug.

Speaking of bugs, they made a little mausoleum for the fly. Very nice and classy, marble and everything. About three by eight inches. You can see it downtown for a dollar.


Storytime: Footprints.

July 17th, 2019

When Carlos was three, his parents took him down to the river, and he saw the footprints.
They were very big – much larger than he was – and even at that age he knew that wasn’t quite normal, and was probably very special. He was so overwhelmed with their size that he couldn’t quite bring himself to remember much else about them; impressions of shape and depth and so on slid off his mind like water from an eggshell. The one detail that stayed with him was their colour: the sand in them was a deep soft dark brown, shaded by the edges of the prints.
He took a step forward, then another, and he was just teetering on the edge of the hole, one leg raised, when his father’s arms wrapped around him and he heard the ever-hated words ‘time to leave’ and oh how he whimpered over that.
But he couldn’t cry, because he knew he’d be back.

Next time they came back, the prints were missing. If it was some wandering dog or a bored teenager or a rainfall or a big splash he never knew, but they weren’t there. And that was when the troubles started.

“He won’t listen,” the teachers said, which wasn’t fair or true, and “he can’t do the simplest thing right,” which was. It was as if someone had wrapped Carlos up in a blanket and every little thing he had to do was conducted through blind fumbling past layers of thick, muffling cloth. He could walk, he could talk, he could listen, but when it came to execution someone had replaced all of his fingers with thumbs and his arms with jelly.
He graduated with the lowest marks in the school or indeed ever – a note of some distinction – and he listened to what his teachers told him and his father had casually mentioned once or twice and he joined the army.

His marks kept him out of a lot of things, but they gave him a gun. Then he cleaned it very carefully and put it back together backwards. Then he did that again, and again, and when he did it properly they said he’d taken too long. So that was a problem.
Drills should’ve been easy. Just walk. But it was always a little too slow, or a little too fast, and whenever it wasn’t one or the other his legs would wander off on him.
“The hell’s the matter with you?” the drill sergeant asked him. “You got two left feet? Can’t be, ‘cause the doctors would’ve kicked you out. Now pull your head out of your ass and MARCH.”
He tried, he really did, he tried so very hard. But it just didn’t work, and shortly thereafter, neither did he.

After that the ideas were thinner on the ground, but sometimes he found places that needed something mopped, or some papers stapled, or boxes moved, or data entered. But wherever he went it was as if a song was playing, and everyone but him could hear it.
“Won’t listen,” said his boss, and there was a familiar tune, with memorable lyrics. “Just simple things, but he takes forever over it. The guy’s a burnout.”
Carlos was listening – he always listened – but he found himself agreeing. Something had burned out, right there, in his life. And nobody seemed to be able to find a spare match for him.

Then he missed rent.
Twice.
Three times.

It was five strikes in the end, some louder and sharper than others, and really it could’ve been as many as seven or as few as four depending on how you counted them – less a hard line than a fat blur. He spent more time out of his apartment until he didn’t have one anymore.

The streets were no less confusing than the buildings had been. There were things he could’ve done, should have done, would have done; but Carlos remembered how all the rest of the things he could have and should have and would have done went and so he didn’t. Instead he walked until he got tired, then he sat, then he walked again.
Eventually he sat down and fell asleep.
When he woke up he was tired, so tired, and very thirsty.

The river was a terrible idea. Don’t put that in your mouth, he’d been told. It’s dirty. Needs boiling. But it was nearby and he was exhausted and what was one more bad idea?
Almost enough, it turned out. He did more sitting than walking, and by the time the evening took him to its brink his eyes saw more spots than sunlight. The bugs were free and fierce upon him.
Carlos found the water by toe, then fell in, but it was summer and at low ebb so he couldn’t even drown properly, just sputter and splash and eventually scrabble himself into something of a slouched squat. It felt like his skin was boiling off his bones, but calmly.
He drank, and it tasted just as nasty as his parents had always warned him. Grit got in his mouth, and maybe a bug too listless to even fight back. But it cleared the spots from his face, and that was when Carlos could see that he was sitting on the cusp of a footprint.

It looked bigger than he remembered. Surely before it hadn’t filled the streambed, or else someone else would have seen it, or failed to destroy it.

Slowly, carefully, precisely, Carlos put his foot down.
It fit perfectly. Not well, but perfectly.
Then he picked up his other foot and put it down, and that too fit perfectly.
And then he did it again, and again, and moved forward, upstream, walking smoothly, carefully, and in a rhythm that matched the water flowing around his ankles.

They were far too big for him. But maybe he’d grow into them until they fit.


Storytime: Safe.

July 10th, 2019

The building was three stories, but you could see it for miles. The lights wouldn’t permit anything less.
Each of them was twelve feet in diameter, backed by a bulb that would’ve made an IMAX blush and cover its face. They never stopped; turning and glowering and peering like a great-aunt checking for dust on bookshelves.
There was another light. It was smaller, and gaudier, and it was only just now beginning to scream.
ALERT was the meaning. It was discernable in any language and in several species. ALERT. DANGER. PROBLEM. WARNING. And in case you didn’t get the meaning it was spinning at a few hundred rotations per second, spackling the world bright red on and off again.
Prolonged exposure to it would result in deafness. Luckily, it only needed to be on for a few seconds: one millisecond for the team to engage; the other four-and-a-bit for everyone else to get out of their way.
The team was organized in pairs. One slept while the other waited, all equipment within arm’s reach. They blinked at a precisely calculated rate. They thought only of performing their task. They dreamed of the floor plan, and of its weaknesses (imaginable?) and its strengths (incalculable). When they moved, they moved together: the waking guard on point as their partner followed two seconds behind.
They were armed. Their weapons were indescribable and numerous, and their feet were fast. There was a lot of ground to cover.
The intruder had come.

The grounds themselves were a little park, underlain by some mulch, gravel, a little brick path, and seven hundred million dollars of electronics and metal. Some of them were warnings, many of them were detectors, and one or two were intended to deter the bejeezus straight out of anything that came into their firing range, which was considerable and rapid.
All were silent.
The walls themselves were higher than the building, although the last forty feet was the most translucent and undetectable plexiglass (and yet more invisibly, they extended far higher in a perfect dome of electronic security), and every unbreachable inch of them was ablaze. Every corridor was filled with quiet, furious footfalls. Staff took refuge in any room to hand, trusting in auto-locking codes to ensconce themselves from the patrols. Anyone in a hallway without the hand pass and that morning’s badge-code was an enemy.
The intruder was here.

The target was one room among dozens. A door in a wall like many others. A resident who was quite specific in her qualities.
They’d been prepared for this. Not just this eventuality, this exact victim. There’d been plenty of warnings. Everyone had been tense as tenterhooks the past week, just waiting. Practicing. Honing. On the most literal of edges, staring out into the abyss, cursing and waiting for it to blink so they could kill it.
The chance was here the moment had come the time was now and BANG in flew the door off its hinges and the tiny chamber was filled with forty different bodies and a hundred muzzles sweeping every inch of its contents, eyes on special cocktails that let them see everything from infra-red to hidden-guilt, brains buzzing out of control.
The form in the bed was motionless.
Carefully but faster than the untrained eye could follow, the designated pointer went to its side, performed sixteen separate rites both physical and invisible, and nodded.
“Got away clean.”
Against all professionalism and training, someone said ‘fuck.’ Everyone silently and mutually did not notice.
With a lack of haste that was infinitely more alarming than their earlier speed, the medical examiner filled out a small sheet with the victim’s name (Bernice Pondsmith); C.O.D. (cardiac arrest); and the damnable, eternal, familiar name of the perpetrator:
Death.

The intruder had won.
Again.

Defeated but undaunted, the peerless, matchless forces of the Sunnyhill Retirement Community returned to their posts, weapons holstered, thoughts already on how to improve their response times, how to cut that last second out of the schedule.
The architect was on call. The walls would be made higher. The lights would shine brighter. The alarms would be surer. The guards would be faster.
Next time. NEXT TIME, it would be different.

And there was always one more next time, wasn’t there?


Storytime: Babysitting.

July 3rd, 2019

I stood there, and I stared at the porticullus, and I stared into the abyss and I knew it was staring back at me, eyelessly, infinitely.
My arm moved without me, and it reached the bell, and against all of my power and will I rang.

Three times the bell rang.
ding
DONG
ding
DONG
ding
DONG

The gate creaked wide.
“Oh HIIIIII! THERE you are, ohcomein, it’s SO nice to see you.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Harvest,” I said, as I was dragged over the threshold in a cloud of dread fussing. My hair was adjusted before my very eyes; my raiment tweaked; my glasses straightened.
“OhmyendlessnessyouaresoBIG now, ahahahahahhahaha, oh myyyyy. Look at you!”
“I can’t without a mirror, Mrs. Harvest,” I told her, and she burst into laughter that only ended as she felt the terrible tug of her duty at her ankle.
“Oohhhh, THERE she is. Say hello to Bethany, Teresa!”
Eyes the size of dinner plates stared at me, half-shielded behind tremulous, quaking hands. “donwanna.”
“Oh c’mon, be poliiite. Be a good girl. You know Bethany! She lives just down the road! She’s your babysitter!”
The hands balled into little fists. “donwan.”
“You’ll have a LOVELY time, I’m sure.”
“dw.”
“Now, Bethany: the others are upstairs in Julie’s room, playing, and you shouldn’t need to do much for them beyond feed them – I left some shepherd’s pie in the fridge from last night and you can reheat it for them.”
“d.”
“Alright now, we’re leaving. You have a good time up here, and help yourself to anything in the fridge once the kids are in bed, okay? You’re a growing girl, right?”
Her elbow was icy cold against my ribs, stirring permutations of my own mortality.
“Thanks,” I said. “Have a good night, okay?”
“You bet!”
And with a last hug and a fare-thee-well, Mrs. Harvester, Mr. Sower, Mrs. Sower, and Mr. Planter descended into the basement of the Harvester’s home, where the walls were ringed with unspeakable things and the floor was covered in glyphs that must not be described, all in colours of the farthest rings and motes.
The door went ‘clik.’

Teresa stood there in the middle of the floor, staring at me without looking.
“Hey,” I said.
She immediately began to cry.

*

There are many opiates available to soothe a troubled mind. In the cellar below us were dozens of potent toxins that could flay a soul free of its physical ills for all time; in the world around us were uncountable distractions and vices.
I had brought with me some cheap hard candy, which Teresa was induced to consume. She couldn’t cry and chew at the same time, though from time to time a small and trembling snivel would leak out of the corners of her jaws.
Still, she was tamed enough to be carried, and I ascended the steps to the dwelling-chamber of Julie Harvester, currently inhabited by herself and Jonathan, her brother.
They were screaming words at each other. Harsh, rattling syllables whose power made my soul quail and will shake. But I had a duty, and it lay before me. Emboldened by my intellect if not my will, I threw the door wide.
“Fart face!”
“Douche turd!”
“Shit nose!”
“Knock it off,” I intoned. “This doesn’t look like playing to me.”
“He touched my stuff!”
“She wouldn’t let me touch her stuff!”
“So you just took it!”
“I was just looking at it!”
“It came off!”
“It was garbage!”
“YOU’RE garbage! SHIT garbage!”
A terrible power pulsed at my temples and I felt my vision grow grey. There were forces here that were neither benign nor hostile; merely aberrant to all that I could comprehend in the context of a reasoned universe. There was only one path out of the insanity that surrounded me.
“Let’s watch a movie,” I said.
“I want Fr–”
“I WANT Go-”
“We’ve seen that!”
“We’ve seen THAT!”
“You’re dumb!”
“You’re STUPID.”
“Perhaps later,” I told them. The bell had tolled. The time had come. “Let’s get you guys dinner.”

*

The shepherd’s pie was rank with implications. It seethed with a sickening intensity that nipped at my eyes and watered my soul.
“Gross,” said Jonathan.
“Ick,” said Teresa.
“I don’t want Shepherd’s pie AGAIN,” said Julie.
It was just as I had feared – my careful plans and safeguards so innocently conceived by confident mortal minds were in tatters, adrift in the face of the true nature of the chaotic universe. Emergency was afoot.
“How about mac n cheese?” I asked.

*

“Ugh….this is from a BOX,” said Jonathan.
“Eat it.”
“It’s ORANGE.”
“Eat it.”
“YOU eat it.”
Madness throbbed at my temples. “Alright. I’m going to give it to your sister. She likes it.”
“NO! It’s mine!”
I stared at the ceiling and marvelled at the most merciful thing in the world: the inability of a youthful mind to comprehend its own actions.
“Ecchh,” said Teresa.
I passed her a napkin.
“Bloorph,” said Teresa.
I stood up to find a damp cloth. Distracted on my task, heedless of the world around me, when I returned to the kitchen table I was not prepared by the magnitude of the horror that awaited my eyes.
“She tried to take mine!”
“She said I could!”
“Not if I ate it first!”
“You spilled it!”
“You made me!”
The orange. My god, the orange. It was everywhere. Everywhere. Under every thing and over every one and inside every dream and thought and hope, it crept, endlessly. I felt madness about to overtake me, and it was only through the very greatest effort that I did not begin to laugh uncontrollably.
“You will help clean this up,” I said.
Teresa coughed twice and threw up.

*

In hindsight my decusuibs were laughably optimistic; the wide-eyed innocence of a blind woman who cannot see the chasm gaping before her very tread. But I was naïve even of my naivety – as is so often the case – and so when I gave the children basic cleaning supplies such as mildly soapy water and some paper towels I thought to myself with the earnestness of the true fool ‘what harm could this possibly do?’
So I busied myself changing Teresa’s clothes, patting her back repeatedly, and putting her to bed in ignorant bliss.
By the time I returned with the mop to deal with her half-digested leavings, it was already too late. Too late for any of us.
Words could not describe what I saw. They tried their best, but in the end the truth of things could only be witnessed in the devastation.
It had begun as duty.
It had transformed into competition.
It had inevitably, loathsomely, fully transformed into immutable and eternal hatred.
And then, of course, had come the violence as humanity’s bestial nature overthrew reason’s paper-thin and infantile grasp on its brutish psyche.
“I’m bleeeeeediiiing!” wailed Julie.
“No you’re not! No you’re not!” yelled Jonathan. He was incorrect, but not by much.
“I’m gonna diiiiiiieeeee!”
“No you’re not!”
I recoiled in horror and shrieked with the voice of the eternally damned: “BEDTIME. Now.”

*

The basement door slid open. Foul vapours billowed forth, and in their gloom four hooded figures of horrific aspect slowly unmasked themselves.
“We’re BAAAA-aaack!” sang Mrs. Harvest. “Thank you SO much Bethany – how are the children doing?”
I steeled myself to the task at hand, carefully replacing the deeply illicit and highly salacious book on the living room shelf. It had been my only consolation since the cleaning concluded, and yet the fumes of apple-scented dish soap remained redolent and reeking within the inescapable confines of my mind.
“Teresa is sleeping; Jonathan and Julie were sent to bed early. Julie is watching a movie, I think.”
“What about Connor?”
I suddenly felt as if I were surrounded by horrifying implications I was not ready to understand.
“Connor?”
“Yes! Four children: Teresa, and Jonathan, and Julie, and Connor – you know, Mr. Tiller’s son. Five years old? Didn’t I introduce them to you?”
“No. You said ‘the others are upstairs in Julie’s room.’ And Julie and Jonathan were up there. And that was all.”
“Well, where could he have been then? Oh dear. I hope he hasn’t gotten himself into mischief. Always getting into things, Connor.”
A noise rose from the basement.
Something had bumped, lightly but forcefully.
“Mrs. Harvest,” I said, speaking quietly so that madness would not overtake me, “did you leave anything out?”
“Well, Connor, apparently.”
“No, no, no – did you leave anything out. Downstairs.”
“Oh no! Everything’s been put away carefully, I saw Robert lock the cabinets myself before we came back up. Except the nesting-shrine of course; that’s built into the floor. The Scrabbler of Old nests in there. But I’m sure Connor would never touch that; he’s such a careful boy!”
And then, from the staircase, the squamous, cyclopean, brobdingnagian, unfathomable, lunatic, unthinkable, wearily unmistakable noise of scuttling.
“CONNOR! Young man you are in BIG TROUBLE!”


Things That Are Awesome: Elevenses.

June 26th, 2019

Inevitably.

-Warblers that whistle instead.
-Tides. The moon’s giving the planet a wedgie.
-Beating your teeth.
-Fiscal irruptions.
-Cloning dinosaurs toot-sweet.
-Muttering maples.
-Working on the rail road for a sensible portion of the live-long day under safe conditions for good pay and benefits.
-Tic tac rock.
-Relaxed chanting.
-Braggadocio within boundaries.
-Voraciousness without visciousness.
-Hollering hawthorns.
-The road more traveled undergoing unannounced renovation and causing all manner of ruckus.
-Fish and ships.
-Absolutely terrifying butterflies.
-Roaring rowans.
-Valleys inside valleys inside valleys.
-Rippled chips and chipped ripples.
-Screaming slippery elm.
-Incredibly foreboding, rune-carved and deeply eldritch fans, air ventilation grating, emergency exit signs, safety railings, etc.
-Ornery oaks look basically whispering willows are FAR over-exposed okay?
-Absurdly gentle and tender mantises.
-The songs of the manatee.
-Festered feverlings.
-Mixing up files.
-Jasmine jam.
-Creaming. As long as it isn’t corn.
-Moxie minus mayhem.
-A discrete and tasteful quantity of shark.
-As long as it’s sharken not stirred.
-A murgatroyd that dares dream of more on earth than under heaven.
-The boundlessness of bluntness.
-Crisses without crosses.
-Biscuit hold the bisc.
-That 1994 ruling that explicitly and forever struck down that goddamned ‘Air Bud’ clause.
-And the subsequent closing of the ‘Air Budgie’ loophole.
-Killer krill.
-Killer krabs, by contrast, are kontinually, kumbersomely overdone. Kruddily.
-Archers arpeggioing.
-A song of sixpence, sang without rye.
-Goes nicely with four and twenty blackbirds on a power line screaming at you.
-Entirely innocuous squids that would just like some fish – or, failing that, to be your friend.
-Borf.
-And, more situationally, Borph.
-But not Borphe.
-Curmudgeonness.
-Crawling, but with dignity and a bit of self-awareness without self-deprecation.
-That little catch when you drop from a chuckle into a chortle.
-Heartwarming made-for-TV family-friendly whole-some minty-fresh machine-washable dramas about friends coming together to overcome the terrible addiction that is carbon-emitting fuels.
-The Early Cretaceous. It deserves more attention.
-Sassafracas.
-The trickiest, stickiest wickets in all the thickets.
-A million pounds of kilograms.
-Or the other way around. Not picky.
-Everything and anything, but not nothing.
-Mutually-unintelligible rudeness.
-Any architecture involving giant turtles. Foundation, ceiling, financial backer – not picky.
-Forkshakes.
-Spoondaes.
-Knife cream cones.
-A million liters of water right in the face.
-Grizzling on bears, beards, and attitudes.
-Vaulted computer banks.
-Rocks with these tiny little bits of moss and lichen on them.
-Many if not all reptiles, sorted by weight.
-Conglormlessness.
-Just the kitchen sink by itself absolutely without any other objects or considerations. In solitary splendor.
-Everything else and also the bathroom sink. Or everything but the bathroom sink.
-The successful expulsion of humanity from the Great Apes by a three-to-one majority. A wise decision.
-Worst fears realized, anticipated, and harmlessly defused.
-Dried foods with lots of flavour on ‘em.
-Ants outside pants.
-Or ants with their own pants.
-Ralphs.
-The corralling and hogtying of the lonely goat-herd as an avalanche-prevention measure.
-The rise and fall of December. Soon it will be done.
-Unpopular pops.
-Rhythm without reason or humanity.
-The oncoming icebergs of our times.
-The final revenge of the penguins.
-And many more, unforeseen.