Things That Are Awesome: Section XV.

June 21st, 2023

Bigger than five, less notable than ten, not as round as twenty.

-Prancing, pirouetting pachyderms.

-Ice cream that’s hard enough to chew and good enough you want to take your time doing it.
-Mixed nuts without raisins. 

-A cool breeze on a warm day
-A warm sun on a cold day.
-Impractical jokes.
-Multitudes of millipedes.  Not centipedes; those are awful.  Millipedes are alright. 

-Fascination. 

-Things that writhe without losing their ability to be adorable.  Think puppies or snakes; probably don’t think maggots. 

-Treemendousness. 

-That isn’t a typo.

-Seeing more things that change your perspective of old things that make you reflect on new things that leave you blindsided by yet more things.

-Creatures that are whale-like in ecological niche and possibly behaviour while not even remotely being whales at all.  Particularly if they can’t swim. 

-Unorthodox juice.

-Secret forts in forests, made from forests, for forests.

-Stout, sturdy cupcakes with good solid butter icing that’s had a chance to set to be almost crunchy but not quite.

-Anything starting with p that’s pronounced as a t.  Pterosaurs.  Ptarmigans.  Etc. (not etc)

-Cloning dinosaurs at all. 

-Clowns appearing from the left of me valiantly protecting me from the Joker who is standing to the right of me. 

-Missing a limb and then finding someone else’s.

-Pangolins.  They’re very handsome.

-Animals doing normal jobs.  Only as long as they agreed to it and are being fairly compensated for it, though.

-Feathers being scales that went weird; I just like that being real and accurate, it’s very cool. 

-Arch things.  Archways, archmages, archives. 

            -But NOT archbishops. 

-Whales going whaling for whalers.  Wailing optional.

-Gooses bumping.  Also flailing.  Screaming.  Smashing.  Furiously pummeling.

-Unconventional teas (bone; cryptid; ultraviolet) served in deeply conventional containers (world’s best dad mug; don’t even TALK to ME before I’ve HAD my COFFEE mug; mug turned illegible by time and dishwasher, etc.). 
-Vermin.  Especially the small ones.  Verminimals. 
-Salvation through procrastination. 

-Clicking and clacking. 

-Approachable, friendly, and completely unintelligible skeletons. 

-Ports fitted for unconventional traffic e.g. giant sea turtles with submersible capsules strapped to their backs; tiny planets in big buckets; shark embassies; sea tigers; ocean-travelling moose flotillas; dolphin dreadnoughts, etc.

-Continents that are not lost, merely temporarily misplaced.

-Z as a sudden and unexplained substitute for S.

-Largeness. 

-Smallness.

-Extremely mediumness. 

-Parrot parents.  Especially if they’ve been vocally trained on terrible sitcoms. 

-Cities built by things that don’t have hands out of stuff that won’t hold together in places where nobody can live.

-Earl, who links URLs.

-Franklinstein, the series of children’s books about a young turtle sewn together from the shattered fragments of dozens of turtles harmed by careless drivers and how he tracks down his murderers and strangles them. 

-Unobtrusive hats.

-A big stupid superhero fight where someone’s big stupid supervillain machine shoots a big stupid blue energy ray into the sky and it knocks down a passing satellite and squishes everyone involved. 

-Artificial intelligence that is exactly as dangerous and powerful and clever and useful as the intelligences that created it. 

-Meteorologists forecasting meteors. 

-Thick thickets. 

-Foods that become appetizing when mashed, pounded, or seared. 

-Alley alligators, particularly without warning. 

-Every novel way found to pronounce the letter ‘y.’
-Elephants that never forget, but may sometimes forgive, and will often forfeit. 

-Mammoths standing near sauropods and feeling at peace and content with themselves and life.

-Continents we used to have that we only vaguely know.  Remember Rodinia?  Me either. 

-Plugs that make very satisfying noises when activated.

-Self-awareness that rises to the point of understanding that sometimes you need more than just self-awareness.

-Switches that not only flip, but also flop, and can do so repeatedly. 

-Flies that won’t fly. 

-Mighty fortresses built with immense skill and planning using the finest materials and the most cutting-edge science that were so good at what they were that they never once actually had to be used. 

-Eighty-one.

-That particular day in spring when the rain hits hard right before the sun comes out and then every single plant goes absolutely apeshit. 

-Something for nothing, and nothing for something. 

-The tall heeding the small. 

-A bed you can’t get out of but you don’t want to.

-Dogs that, after hundreds of years of diligent breeding, stockkeeping, and effort, are very bad at everything they’re meant to be doing. 

-Unauthorized vowels used without restraint or remorse. 

-Cottages.  But only if properly dilapidated, cheap, and broken-down. 

-Wriggly’s Believe It Or Slip The Knot.

-Fields sown with things that should not in any reality sprout but do (dragon’s teeth, turtle shells, pepper flakes, etc.

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