Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Not sure why. I mean, it’s not MY goldfish. Crazy bitch can’t even ditch me properly – has to leave me with her crap. And her carp.
Heh.
Not like it’s going to miss her though. I mean, what’s its memory again? Thirty seconds? Three? I’ll miss her more than it ever will. Hell, I have to feed myself again.
Speaking of, time to get the oven going. There we go. Fish n chips in thirty minutes. Heh. It’s your cousin!
It looks like it’s glaring at me. Hell, it looks like it’s glaring at EVERYTHING with those eyebrows.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Here you go little idiot buddy. Eat hearty. Dunno how many of these flakes you’re meant to get so have eehhhh a fistful and a half and a third and a little pinch. Don’t eat yourself to death. You do that sometimes, don’t you?
What, does it taste bad? Eat, you moron! You need to eat to stay alive!
Speaking of, I should get dinner going. Oh wait, oven’s already on. Brain like a leaky sieve.
Must be the weather. Or the shouting matches on the phone. Stupid hag should’ve come back when I told her to.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Wait, I already did that. Woops. Don’t want to overfeed you. You can die of that, can’t you?
Well, not my problem. Should be hers’.
Hey, do I smell smoke?
Aw damnit, my fish and chips!
This is your fault, isn’t it? You’re distracting me, aren’t you? Trying to take revenge on me for eating your granduncle? Well fuck you. I’ll eat ‘em burnt, I’ll eat ‘em half-frozen. No fish with its fish brain gonna push me around.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Not really a goldfish though, are you? Too big for that, and kinda shiny. It’s weird. But she called you a goldfish, so a goldfish you are.
Maybe you’re worth something. Could sell you.
Or just eat you. Man, I’m starving. Could use dinner, should turn the oven on and AW DAMNIT it’s BURNING JESUS
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Jeez, she took better care of this thing than me. It’s fat and happy and I’m fat and miserable. Where’s the justice in that? I should just pick this bowl up and throw it out the window. Not like it wants to live all that bad – look at all the food in there! Little bastard hasn’t even eaten since the last time I gave him supper. That’s gratitude for you!
Urgh, it’s dark in here. Wait, is something burning? Hard to breathe.
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish.
Right, well I’d better get on that. I can’t even see through all this…smoke?
Fuck, did that crazy witch arson me? Did she sneak back and set a light at my door? I’m choking in this shit!
Screw the fish, I’m opening a window.
Screw the window, I’m breaking it!
With the fish!
Why not!
Up up and!
Now, what was I doing?
Oh yeah, feeding the goldfish. Wait, why am I holding it?
Weird. Looks like it’s smiling.
Lotta smok in hee