Storytime: Groceries.

April 13th, 2016

280 Marston Flats
Apt. Shopping List

Mon.
Greg
-Milk
-Eggs
-Potatoes

Sam
-Eggplant
-Arugula
-Feta
-Kale

Cass
-milk
-bread
-toilet paper
-‘Smackles’

Tues.
Greg
-Tomato sauce
-Mozzarella
-Flour

Sam
-Bell pepper
-Spinach
-Yogurt

Cass
-milk
-deodorant
-2x ‘Smackles’

C: You haven’t finished your last yet. -G

Weds.
Greg
-Bread crumbs
-Chicken breasts
-Pepper

Sam
-Unleavened bread
-Filtered water
-Light butter

Cass
-milk
-toothbrush
-2x ‘Smackles’

C: Seriously? –G

there’s a prize for 5x box tops ok. i’ll eat it later.
-C

Thurs.
Greg
-Spaghetti
-Olive oil
-Garlic cloves

Sam
-Carrots
-Raw milk

Cass
-milk
-toothpaste
-3x ‘Smackles’

S: I think that’s illegal. You want to get TB?
C: If I find where you’ve hidden these I’m throwing them out. Stench is unbearable. –G

it comes tomorrow.
-C

Fri.
Greg
-Oatmeal
-Half-and-half cream
-Honey

Sam
-Toilet paper x 2 3 4 5

Cass
-x2 milk
-x6 ‘Smackles’

C: I had to sign for your stupid prize this morning. The delivery man ran away before I could return it. I’m not buying another speck of that stupid cereal for you. –G

ftaghn.
-C

Sat.
Greg
-Bacon
-Bread
-Butter
-Flamethrower
-Machete

Sam
-Apple x1

Cass
-6 ‘Smackles’
-6 ‘elkcamS’
-6 ‘CklesSma’

C: I’m going to assume the predatory fungus sprouting through the kitchen floorboards is your fault. This is the last straw; I’m telling the landlord. –G

land rots
lords rot
you rot
Smackles endure
Smackles ERODE
Smackles erase
-C

Sun.
Greg
-Bagels
-Cream cheese
-40 oz. whiskey
-Whetstone

Sam
-Bag chips (sour cream & onion) x6
-Box donuts (choc. dip) x3
-Chicken + wedges + fried sticks valu-combo
-Large 4-cheese pizza w/extra cheese
-Onion dip x5
-Tub ice cream (butterscotch) x2
-Choc. sauce x2
-Raspberry crate x2
-2L cola x4
-Choc. bar (any)

CasSmacklesSmacklesSmackleSmackleSmackle
-Sma
-ckle
-Smackles
-666666
-CTACTTTAATCCA

S: I’m not sure I can get all that in one trip; remember, I’m on a bike, not a car.
C: I’ve called the national guard and I’ve got the attic sealed off. Come and get me. –G
PS: I’ve burnt out the stairwell.

Mon.
Greg
*

Sam
-Wreath (floral) x2
-Card (‘sorry for your loss’) x12
-500 ml mouthwash (strong) x3
-4L bleach x3

Cass Mushroom monster Smackles Cass
*

Im not really sure what happened this week but uhhh wtf guys.
-Sam

PS: Can’t find landlord. 3 wreaths???

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.